LTR. How often do you do it?

[tellyblue]

I've name changed for this. I'm late thirties, been with oh for 16 years. Two children ages 6 and 3. The last time we had sex was January 2014, I know exactly when as it was the conception of our youngest. I've gone off him sexually, don't fancy him at all. He is always telling me how lucky he is to have me and how much he loves me but never tries to initiate sex (fine with me). We don't kiss, hold hands, touch each other. We have a good family life with the boys and have fun days out and go on child free dates but I feel like we're roommates rather than husband and wife. I have needs and will usually pleasure myself when he's at work or down the pub. Can life go on like this for the next 40 years? Can a relationship work with no sex? I want it but just not from him. I don't really know what to do. Feel like the love from me has gone. Help!!

I don’t think how often other people have sex is your question.

It should be what do you do about this situation. 4 years is too long. Once it’s gone it’s gone. No coming back from that in my opinion.

Thanks Bullseye, yes I guess I mean does anyone else live like this? I'm not sad, he's not sad, the children are happy. We're happy with each other and our lives. The only thing is the lack of emotional connection between each other. Would anyone else stay?

Yes many women stay. I know several. Me included. I’d love to be married to someone I fancy physically but I have everything else I need. I’m physically attracted to inappropriate men so I guess I should count my blessings!

Many men stay too!

We are like this too and it's getting me down. I don't feel unloved, just not loved enough. Everything else is perfect. It's pretty rubbish. I try and hint and I can feel him rolling his eyes internally. The last time for me was 2015. His libido has always been on the low side and I don't think it's me.

I think it's causing self esteem issues too but I love him and my kids and my life too much.

I've given up trying to make an effort for him too which saddens me.

I think the advice would be to talk to him and tell him how you feel. I can hear his excuses and changing of subject before I even start to speak though and I am afraid of how badly that conversation will end.

If you can bring it up in convo do try but I think that's the norm for some people.

I know someone like this, he’s not happy but he’s staying as he has kids and all the other stuff with her.

*and no we are not having an affair, no feelings, never slept together, just friends!l who talk about there life’s and problems!