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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He just called me cunt

48 replies

Lightyathome · 15/03/2018 19:11

Me trying to talk to him about not being happy because he goes out almost every night. He goes ok you stupid cunt let's have a row if you want

OP posts:
Itscurtainsforyou · 15/03/2018 20:10

You're worth so much more than this. Pack your bags and leave asap

Lightyathome · 15/03/2018 20:13

Thank you all.

I am honest I have tears in my eyes reading your messages. Thank you.

I do feel very let down by him.

I have never ever been called like this. He's the first one. And I don't think of should put up with this. I should think of myself first. He does not deserve me of he can think of me like this.

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 15/03/2018 20:16

Move out. Block him on everything. He is a nob.

AnyFucker · 15/03/2018 20:19

Leave. Like yesterday.

PrettyLittIeThing · 15/03/2018 20:22

So what are you going to do??

Lightyathome · 15/03/2018 20:29

I've had a look for a house to rent and waiting for a reply from an estate agency.....what do you mean what am I going to do?! I am an independent woman with good profession and dignity!

OP posts:
Itsacakebaby · 15/03/2018 20:34

Nobody deserves to be spoken to like that - ever.
Please leave and NEVER go back.

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 15/03/2018 20:34

Lighty - I have never ever been called like this. He's the first one. And I don't think of should put up with this. I should think of myself first. He does not deserve me of he can think of me like this. You're right, I'm glad you can see it like that.

FWIW I just left my DP of 5 years after he called me a cunt for the 3rd time. He was utterly lovely 95% of the time, but then sometimes his nasty side showed, usually because I asked something of him, time, attention etc. The previous two times I told him not to call me that, I got properly cross about it, he apologised etc but it made no difference, he did it again, he just can't hold his nasty tongue.

It is symptomatic of a deeper lack of respect for you, even if he is lovely the rest of the time, he doesn't speak to you with respect. Just because you're angry you don't need to be spiteful to each other.

Glad to hear you have no ties or complications, leave the bastard asap - it won't get better and will most likely get worse if you stay with him. Flowers

AnyFucker · 15/03/2018 20:35

Your first reaction was to dob him in with his mum. That's not very dignified.

FrozenMargarita17 · 15/03/2018 20:39

LTB!!

Lightyathome · 15/03/2018 20:41

The whole story....

I am a doctor.

My OH is not.

He works in industry where people talk like that all the time.

BUT I DON'T CARE

I deserve respect. And I'm not having him talking to me like that because that's just the tip of the iceberg

OP posts:
MyBrilliantDisguise · 15/03/2018 20:43

You've done really well at work - make sure you get rid of this man now and find someone lovely. You don't deserve it - nobody deserves it - he's disgusting.

unsurewhy · 15/03/2018 20:47

I was called that once... was the beginning of years of domestic abuse. He's lost all respect for you - RUN fast.

My exH progressed to calling me it in front of our child. And lots more...

That's the type of scumbag you're with.

CuriousMama · 15/03/2018 20:55

It's good you're going. It won't get any better he has no respect.

HangtheblessedDJ · 15/03/2018 20:57

No kids, no mortgage. Go find someone who wouldn't ever call you that.

TheNaze73 · 15/03/2018 21:00

He sounds vile. Just leave. Don’t involve his Mum

glasshalfemp · 15/03/2018 21:04

You’re lucky you’ve seen this side before children and a mortgage. Good luck to you moving out and on

lightbulbneedschanging · 15/03/2018 21:09

Agree with everyone else, this man is a waste of space and you have no ties so you can kick him to the curb and find someone who loves and respects you.
Wish I had followed this advice years ago before investing many years in a partner (now ex) who acted in ways very similar to yours. Unfortunately we now have ties (children) and while I do not for one minute regret my children I regret the time and emotional energy I put into this idiot nasty abusive man who never respected or valued me.
Also, don’t be swayed by any ‘nice’ behaviour he might show. It’s all bullshit and his true colours are what you have described in your post.

Lightyathome · 15/03/2018 21:11

Thanks you all!

And I was thinking of having proper family with him. I'm very very disappointed and gutted but glad I realised it sooner rather than later

OP posts:
Towelonthedoor · 15/03/2018 21:13

Lightly don't put up with it. This is an early warning sign. Get out. That's from someone that's only just seen they are in EA relationship after 18 years!

Lightyathome · 15/03/2018 21:14

His only nice behaviour is to take me out after he's been out the night before getting all pissed. Which I don't appreciate because it's just a chore not a pleasure for him. He's a dick

OP posts:
BagelGoesWalking · 15/03/2018 21:21

He IS a dick and you sound awesome.

msbrightside · 15/03/2018 21:25

I've had exactly the same this week and I've had enough - its verbal abuse and total lack of respect. I know its part of his usual fighting language but there was such venom behind it, and then justification that I'd caused him to react that way - BS. I've stayed far too long, dont make the same mistake

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