Harrasment with intent to harm

[Claudia90]

I'm a first time thread writer. Any support or advice would be greatly appreciated.

For months I read numerous threads, wondering if what I was experiencing was emotional abuse. I now realise that if you have to search for that answer, you probably are.

I ended the relationship 12 months ago. I'd attmpted to leave number times before, but this time i knew it was forever. Constant name calling, telling me how useless and lazy I was. Everything that I said was lies. Taking my phone and hiding it. Threatening to do things if he didnt get it his way. The constant feeling of being belittled. I thought that leaving would be the hardest bit, turns out it wasn't.

For 12 months I've been bombarded with messages. Some days pictures of love hearts, with my name written inside. Some days I was called every name under the sun. Some days he threatened to break every bone in my body. I changed my number, was this the end...

No. He's now circling my house in his car, & if I'm seen he will threaten to hurt me. I informed him this was harrasment, he replied that if it wasn't him it would be someone else. "You're in for it" we're his final parting words last night.

I've had bad days, where I just lay and cry. I've had good days, where I feel I can take on the world. It hasn't been a simple journey, but it's one that must come to an end!

The police have been informed and I'm in touch with a solicitor. Is there any other support and guidance available? I want to utilise everything possible and break this cycle for once and for all!

Try these people

www.ncdv.org.uk

I'm so sorry you're going through this

Have you ring the police tonight?

I know you've said you have contacted them, not clear if that is about what is going on right now.
If not, ring them. Now.

This stalking. And threatening behaviour.
What response have you had from the police?

This was last night. Police were informed and i go to make my statement tomorrow. I just felt I needed to write and ask for help and advice. Strength needed to keep going! Even writing it and reading it, made me realise how horrific the whole experience has been. But it felt like the norm when I was in it.

Does anyone else live with you?

I would let your HR at work know too.

It felt like the norm - that's your coping mechanism kicking in.

You've done well to get out and to report to the police. You are clearly a strong capable woman. Remember that.

Keep writing, keep re reading. You have support here and I wish you strength.

You have come so far, don’t let that go to waste now

Write down a diary of what you remember to show to the police

You can do this.

You poor thing. Get a personal attack alarm. Try not to have the same routine.

Park your car (If you drive) near to buildings that you visit...like supermarkets...the gym etc.

He sounds scary and I hope you'll be safe.

You're doing brilliantly.
Just going to list a few links - talking to someone who really knows their stuff can be so helpful- emotionally, and with practical advice.

www.suzylamplugh.org/Pages/Category/national-stalking-helpline

www.gov.uk/report-stalker

And Women's Aid. 0800 2000 247. May take a few tries to get through, but well worth it.

We're always here to listen, and cheer you on.
Good luck with Police tomorrow.

One more- this lists several helplines, so maybe start here
www.supportline.org.uk/problems/stalking.php

Well done for finding the strength to finally deal with this excuse for a man (hope I'm not presuming gender here, if so apologies)
This person must be dealt with now ! Yes keep a diary of everything he says and does, every threat, every name calling, and report as much as you can remember to the police. This is a serious offence and he has no right to treat you like this. He is a truly horrible person so get him out of your life ASAP. Do whatever it takes to deal with him. Also tell everyone about it, all your friends and family and colleagues so that you can be supported through this. It's the beginning of the end for this creep

Gees thought my stbxh was bad but wow yours sounds terrifying. Keep a diary make sure you write it all down, even if it appears small, it builds up a picture of continues harassment.

I dont know your situation but you may be entitled to legal aid, worth finding out.

Please go through with the statement. This could be what you need to get him off your back.

I have a life long restraining order and although we hear mainly horror stories about them being breached, mainly mine has been very successful. Even the flying monkeys have been silenced.
Narcs don't like prison; no control for them.

Thank you for your kindness & words of support.

I completed a statement with the police, no further contact from them. I spoke to my solictors who stated that it would cost me 2k to get an order against him. Nope, I took it in to my own hands. This morning I attended court with a two page statement I had written & the relevant paper work. The judge granted it there and then, & he was served a non-molestation order via bailiffs. I go back at the end of the week, as this is his opportunity to contest the order. However he's been given a copy of my statement and it's all true, so one would think he won't contest! However, I will turn up prepared, just incase.

For those who are experiencing anything similar, keep strong and find your inner strength!

Hi Claudia - congratulations! Sounds like you've handled yourself really well. Must have been awful to live with that stress for the past year. Really hope this is a turning point for you now, and that he leaves you alone.

Wow, well done. Hope it helps

You are beyond awesome! Great work.

Ah wow well done you.

Well done and keep going

what solicitor did you see? 2k for a non molestation order! for future reference you can get them for free via a charity who will pay it and serve it to the abuser women's aid can probably put you in touch with a place that does this. I would suggest stronger front door, panic alarms installed the police can advise you on this or women's aid and make sure you check in with someone everyday and evening a friend or family member so they know what's going on or could a friend move in with you temporarily until this prick eventually gives up?