hi fedup2
my dh does this.
i am also madly trying to save money, i think they do this for the thrill/attention tbh.
it's not only the money is it, more importantly it's the lying: so you think 'if you're lying about these little things, what else are you doing?i can't trust you on anything'
i used to shout and scream and go on and on. but it has the opposite effect that you are wanting:they just withdraw/bite everyones head off/lie more. i also confront him with things calmly, trying to talk/share the burden etc. but i think he just enjoys it.so
lately, i have started to try the 'say nothing' approach. like carmenere said, you/i 'not his mother'
sadly for dh, this is something i got out of my copy of 'toddler taming' , ignore the bad behaviour and praise the behaviour you like, etc.
it's nigh-on impossible at times, but i find that he does it less when he is not getting a reaction. sad but true.
with my dh, it's not betting (not that i know of yet anyway) - it's buying expensive stuff off ebay that's not even the right size, or that he's already got 3 of etc., or it's buying expensive gadgets and keeping them a secret (ffs!)but it amounts to the same thing.
he then 'accidentally' makes sure i find it, for example the postman brings the ebay stuff when he's at work so i receive it. or leave receipts lying around. or another time, he actually bought himself a laptopwhich he was keeping in his own vehicle for weeks, but when he bought it he must have filled a registration form in at the shop because they sent us a letter about it. (pillock)
so i can only think that they do it for the cheap thrill of having a secret but make sure you find out.it's got to be attention seeking.course, you can always try the old 'when you do that, it's a real turn-off' thing