I'm done. Am I?

[Factorysettings1]

Hi. Don't even know if this is the right thread but I'm considering leaving my partner. He's been going on for years that one day he would be willing to have kids and I just don't believe it is ever going to happen. I had a mc 18 months ago and he has no sympathy. He never cums inside me but doesn't see the need to use contraception. I'm now 35/6 and feel trapped and that my time is over. Apart from this. He's wonderful. He is supportive and loving and my best friend. Don't know what to do.

If you aren't on the same page about having dc all the nice qualities he has don't matter do they? Your future hasn't the same dreams. Time to call it a day imo.

Times not over yet...but don't waste anymore time with him.

I had a mc 18 months ago and he has no sympathy

He is supportive and loving and my best friend

These are spectacularly contradictory, do you not think? You talk about feeling trapped and you're obviously very unhappy. You know the answer here. It just sucks having to make the decision.

If he has no sympathy for you when you have a miscarriage, he's neither supportive or your best friend. Sometimes we tell ourselves our partners are great, but when we analyse their behaviour, it's really not great at all.

If you want children and he doesn't, end it now and move on. Don't leave it too late, you have plenty of time, but don't waste it with someone who doesn't share your plans to have a family

Hmm that's a tricky one. Do you think he is just stalling or really doesn't want children - do you know. If it's not too intimate a question why doesn't he come inside you, presumably so you won't get pregnant but there would be the same problem with sheaths - is that what you mean? H obviously didn't use contraception as you got pregnant - how was he during the pregnancy - you said he had no sympathy - that's very tough and doesn't fit with him being supportive and loving but this thing about not wanting children is a biggie for him isn't it.

I think you would be taking a big gamble to leave him in the hope of finding someone who was as loving as your partner but wanted children. You might not meet anyone, and if you do, you'd surely need a couple of years before having children by which time you'd be heading for 40 and your chances of conceiving would be greatly reduced. Your right about your age and the biological clock - can't help thinking there must be a solution here as he is so supportive and loving.

I agree. If he's not sympathetic about your mc he is neither supportive nor your best friend. If your life goals are so different I would say it's time to cut your losses

Have you had a frank conversation with him? Explained about your declining fertility and that if he doesn't want children in the very near future that you'll have to leave?

Men grieve and can suffer after a MC too. Could he be afraid of going through it again if you got pregnant? For you as well as himself? I have a cousin who suffered several miscarriages and she and her husband split up as neither could cope with the level of support each needed. They got back together and have remained together for many years now.

Don’t waste your time!

Leave the unsympathetic pig

IMHO men take a lot longer to catch up emotionally. We’re just (mostly) wired that way. But if this is ongoing as you say then he might just be disaligned with you. It is probably time to have a full and frank with him. Tbh you’ll get more out of that than asking MN as we don’t know what’s going on really. Communicate and find out, don’t rely on internet strangers.