Don’t feel like having sex...

[CrabappleBiscuit]

Dh was severely depressed last year, crap year, he was truly unpleasant at times. Still on medication which affects him so penetrative sex isn’t that great. He’s v stressed about something else this year.

And he’s pissed off we aren’t having more sex, I’m menopausal and still reeling a bit from how crap last year was.

It’s that classic I won’t want sex till I feel he loves me and he wants sex to be shown I love him.

It’s Mexican stand off. I think I probably just have to get on with it a few times to get back in the groove, but frankly I haven’t come in about 12 months and that’s making me narky too.

Sex isn't something you have to get on with if you don't enjoy it or want it anymore

Also he needs to make sure you come as well- its not all about him

I know, we used to have a good sex life. But honestly last year was so shit I’m finding it hard to reconnect. I’ve been reading about scheduling sex in so you can’t keep putting it off. That might work.

Anyone would be “narky” if they hadn’t “come” in 12 months!
Why on earth don’t you masturbate to relieve your frustration with an orgasm, and then approach dh for joint cuddles, massage, shared intimacy that doesn’t include penetrative sex, until you feel suitably affectionate, loved and ready again?
Also, if you’re menopausal, lubrication may be an issue, particularly if you haven’t been having sex for a while. There are plenty of over the counter products that can help with that if necessary.
With a bit of goodwill on both sides, I’m sure “normal service”can be resumed!

Do you have a date night? Try reconnecting on an emotional level by spending time together, going out for dinner and having dates. If you feel closer to him and have fun together then you might find sex happens naturally