How do you go NC when there are children involved?

[Mybrows]

I want to go NC with a family member. I was very low contact with them until the child came along and then I felt I had to pick up the contact again for the child's sake (I was gutted as I was much happier without them in my life). The NC is extremely deserved and much, much healthier for me. The child is still a toddler so won't be able to have an independent relationship for many years (and I am sure the relative would obstruct it if I was NC and also likely actively poison the mind of the child against me). Do you just have to suck it up and be there when there is a child relative involved? This little baby has done nothing wrong and I am their family and they may well need people in their lives, considering the parent they've got. :(

Hi - I'm guessing from what you say that you're not the child's parent, but that you want to go NC with their parent?

Oh yes, sorry. I'm the aunt.

I guessed you were. That's tricky! Could you have a relationship through another family member?

Trouble is, at that age the parents control who the child sees - must admit as a parent I wouldn't be keen on my toddler seeing someone who has chosen to go NC with me (I assume the parent would disagree with the reasons for NC)

It's a tricky one OP - sorry I can't be more help. Birthdays / Christmas card and presents?

Ultimately, with the child being so young, going NC with the parent will inevitably mean going NC with the child too, at least until they are a fair bit older. Hope you can solve this.

I had to do this with the mother of my sister. She was emotionally abusive to me and when she broke up with my dad she tried to destroy him. I told her a few years ago to leave me alone because she kept messaging me trying to be my friend after my dad met someone new.

Maybe you could see the child when they are with another family member.

(Not my mom she is amazing)

Trouble is, at that age the parents control who the child sees - must admit as a parent I wouldn't be keen on my toddler seeing someone who has chosen to go NC with me (I assume the parent would disagree with the reasons for NC)

I agree with this.

If you go NC with the mum, you have to accept you will be NC with the child too. The mum is not going to allow or facilitate contact with you.

This is what I kind of thought. I can't see a way around it, so I have to stay in touch with someone who repeatedly tries to poison my life. :(

You do n’thave to say in contact for the sake of the child.

Your niece or nephew will not be damaged by having a relationship with you. If you stay in contact and see the child say once a week in an atmosphere of tension who does that help ?

Your sibling is not going to encourage a close relationship between you and your niece or nephew so you might as well cut your losses

Sorry, I meant not be damaged by not having a relationship with you.