Married for 19 years, together 24. Domestic violence for 13 years which stopped after I had him arrested. We have ds 15 and dd 12.
He has always had a bit of a gambling problem and was a compulsive spender and hopeless with money. Thought the gambling had stopped years ago but discovered last summer that he's gambled and lost vast amounts, over £100,000, all policies and dc's university money gone with the exception of 19K. I threw him out. He started going to GA twice weekly and by Christmas I really started to believe he could change.....yes I'm a total idiot !!!!! You've guessed it, in January ds discovered that he'd been playing 'fishdom' a seemingly innocent non-gambling game on his phone and had spend £850.00 feeding fish!!!!! I woke up on the sofa to lots of shouting from him blaming the dc's and saying " I have not gambled, no one calls me a liar" He walked out after telling me that he no longer considered the dc's his children. I went to talk to him the next day but he continued to deny wrongdoing, said it was his money and it wasn't gambling. It was four days before I heard from him again.
Fast forward to now and the dc's are saying they do not wish to see him. My ds has met him once but dd not at all. They are heartbroken and betrayed after promising them he would change last year and then this. I have not seen him since 18th January or spoken to him. The thing is though he has only given me £200 since he left, no money for food or kids things etc but has paid mortgage and stable fees for pony. He sent a note with ds and the £200 saying "I am sure you are managing to pay for things but this might help a little" I have the 19K (now only £10k after paying off old car and replacing) but that is the only money we have left and it is dwindling away as I don't earn much. What should I do? Is he right not to give me money because I have the lump sum? I'm scared for the future with no nest egg.