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Relationships

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Need to make sense of this (long)

4 replies

nosuger · 07/05/2007 09:56

I have been with my partner for nearly 3 years. We live seperately but mostly spend weekends together. This weekend we had to travel around 100 miles to see a band, the band are my all time fave band that I've loved from when I was a teenager and I was so excited about it, he knew how excited I was.

Anyway we went for a few drinks before we went to the venue, he couldn't drink as he was driving but I had quite a few. I was a bit tipsy by the time we got to the venue but was in high spirits, as was he.

The show was brilliant and to top the night off we got to meet the band and I had my photo taken with the guys etc which was a dream come true for me, I also managed to get hold of one of the guys guitar picks and they signed my tickets for me...the night couldn't have gone any better.

Anyway I'd had a few more drinks in the venue and by the time we got out I admit I had had too many. I wasn't acting the fool or anything though, I was just drowsy and felt a bit sick...bear in mind I also have travel sickness and I'd been in a 'mosh pit' filled with hyper smokers, drink getting thrown everywhere and nutters jumping all over the place...ANYONE would've come out feeling a bit worse for wear.

Anyway we then had the 100 mile trip back home, I knew I wouldn't make it without being sick, partly due to my travel sickness and partly due to the drink so I warned my partner that we might need to stop, he was ok with this.

Sure enough, half way home I asked him to stop, I got out and was sick at the side of the road, at this point he was shouting at me to hurry up and saying if the police caught us he would lose his license?? So I got back in the car and thankfully fell asleep.

The next thing I knew we were home and the car doors were open and he was shouting at me to get out of the car, I was disorientated, shattered and drunk so as you can imagine I needed a few minutes to get it together so I asked him nicely "can you just leave me alone for 5 minutes please?". He got angry and said "no, you're getting out now", I repeated that I needed 5 minutes and he started shouting and balling at me, bear in mind this was past midnight in the middle of the street...I remained calm and said if he leaves me alone for a few minutes I will join him in the house. He got angrier and angrier and then said "right, I'll drag you out", I told him to leave me alone and he then began to try and drag me out of the car, at this point I hit him in the face, this obviously didn't go down well so he opened all the car doors to try and make me freeze (only had a t-shirt on), the more he carried on the more adament I was about staying in the car...he again tried to drag me out of the car shouting "get out of MY car now" and again I hit him to get him off me. He then started threatning to delete the photos we had taken of the band.

In the end I was starting to worry about the police being called by the neighbours so I got out and told him I wanted him out of the house if I was to go in it. He shouted more abuse at me whilst following me into the house.

Then he changed, started crying and saying "I'm so sorry, I've ruined your whole night, please tell me what I can do to make it up to you...", he was actually sobbing. I told him the best thing he could do was leave me alone until the morning, he carried on trying to apologise, insisting that he would make it up to me, begging for forgiveness....

I'm now confused, was he right to get so annoyed at me?? I know I wasn't right to hit him but what the hell caused his rage? I wasnt sick in the car or anything, didn't say anything out of line to him...the next day he told me I'd done nothing wrong and that it was 100% his fault but why did he do it??

He'd been drinking red bull all night and he's blaming his 'out of character rage' on that but I don't know, I'm cofused by the whole night.

OP posts:
oops · 07/05/2007 10:04

Message withdrawn

LilyLoo · 07/05/2007 10:10

tbh i think you can't blame all this on him. I know when i am designated driver and dp gets wasted i can get unfairly angry with him. But i think he probably just wanted you in the house and when we have a drink we can be a little unreasonable. As for the fact you hit him i think you should be seriously apologising as he should for trying to drag you out of the car. I don't think either of you were in the right.

moondog · 07/05/2007 10:16

Sounds like he behaved very badly but as he has apologised unreservedly i would forgive and forget.

oops · 07/05/2007 11:33

Message withdrawn

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