To Drunk to consent? Warning triggers

[Bearhunter3126]

Really struggling to come to terms with recent events. I had a night out with friends and admittedly drank to much. Can't remember leaving the club which isn't like me. Anyway my BFF came back for me in a cab as we'd lost each other during the night. As I got in cab some random who's been talking to me earlier in the night also got in and asked if we could drop him off home (I wasn't with him, I did not leave with him) cab dropped BFF first and she told cab driver to take me home. Make sure I was on my own because I was hammered. All this is BFF testimony as I said k don't remember but she was on the phone to her DP who said he heard this conversation. I'm not proud of the state I was in and I need to take responsibilityfor that much at least. I felt fine one min and then can't remember anything.

Anyway the next thing I remember I waking up on this guy's living room floor naked from the waist down with him yelling at me to get out. He literally through me out into the street where I managed to get sorted and get a cab from a cab app.

Turns out he had given me his number earlier in the night, i remember having a brief chat with him but nothing more.

I went to the police the next day and reported what had happened. But after 6 hours in the police station and not even got to the stage of giving a statement I retracted my complaint because I couldn't take the stress anymore. The police left me in a locked room for over an hour on my own like I was the criminal!

I made the mistake of contacting him on the number he gave me telling him what he did wasnt consensual. He replied that it was and threatend me amungst other things, then back tracked saying he was a nice guy and he wants to take me for a drink! I've obviously blocked him now but my head is a mess. I feel like I'm going crazy. I would never have consented to this if I were sober. I just don't know what to think.
Sorry if it's rambled just trying to get it all out

If you can manage it, I think you should make a complaint to the police about it. Sounds awful. So sorry you're going through this

It's a tricky one, if you were unconscious and clearly couldn't give consent then of course it is rape. If you seemed 'with it' to him and you were coming on to him, then is this bloke really deserving of being accused of rape? You can't remember so it's hard to say. What state does your friend say you were in?

My fried actually told him to stay away from me because I was in a state. Her DP heard her say this as she was in the phone to him at the time. They guy promised her he was a "nice guy and wouldn't do that. Again heard by her DP.

I feel like I'm going mad. I also had injuries too. Bruises and strain pain

The problem you’re going to have here is in proving the state you were in to the point where a jury will convict him. You’ve got your friend’s testimony (but how drunk was she? - may not be seen as reliable) and potentially the cab driver’s. Can you find him via the taxi firm and see what he remembers?

I assume the police didn’t take any evidence, which doesn’t help, but they should have a specialist team who can take a statement and investigate and should treat you a lot better than what you’ve experienced so far. This guy may have had previous complaints made against him which might help in forming a case.

So sorry to hear this OP. Can't you ring the police instead? It's important to see this through if you can. I believe you and believe you were raped. Even his aggression the morning after shows he isn't a good guy and he'd left you on the floor. It's good that the DP of your friend heard a lot of the taxi conversation down the phone.
Do you need hospital attention? You can go to a&e or a rape crisis clinic. The hospital/clinic can report it to the police for you also. There's support out there OP and other ways of getting police involvement. I appreciate how they've treated you might put you off but they're not all the same. Good luck and stay strong.

I came to, in that state on his living room floor with him yelling at me to get out at around 4am. He threw me out undressed in the middle of the night. I was confused and disoriented and had no idea where I was. Luckily I had my phone on me and managed to get a cab to pick me up by using the "my location function

I called the police when I got home. They did take early forensic evidence ie clothing and self administered swabs etc. But they then locked me in a room for over an hour without even a drink.
At this point no one had even attempted to take a statement from me and it had taken around 6 hours. All that time alone In that room was really stressful. I felt trapped and just ran at the first opportunity. It really shouldn't be that difficult to report an incident like that.

Thank you to all who have commented and offered advice. I don't feel like I can go back to the police now. I feel sick just thinking about starting the process again

OP I believe you and believe from what you said here that you were raped.

I would strongly urge you to go back to the police but understand why you may not want to. Could you contact rape crisis and ask for support?! I really think you need to speak to a specialist who can help you at this time.

I'm so sorry you went through this

so sorry it happened to you. Clearly not consented. The best thing you can do is contact the rape support agency in your area. It's not likely to go anywhere with the police as you were drunk unfortunately.

The cab driver may be able to corroborate what happened. Would your friend go with you back to the police station?

please call rape crisis OP. they will advise you properly.