Boyfriend keeps letting baby sleep in bed

[Noodlee]

My bf keeps letting our lo (5months) sleep in our bed on his nights. When she wakes up in the night he will pick her up out the cot and put her in the bed. He then falls asleep. I've told him numerous times how I don't want her to sleep in the bed but he keeps falling asleep and it keeps happening. This morning I woke up to her in the bed but also her fully under the duvet!! She could have suffocated!! What do I do?? I can't do it anymore it's too dangerous!

Bedsharing is perfectly safe - but only if you’re doing it (you’re much more aware than your partner would be) and you’re doing it safely and taking all the proper precautions. I slept with my first for 2 years very safely. BUT the point is you don’t want to and it isn’t safe for him to do it. So you need to intervene. Ask him to sleep separately from you and baby (on the sofa or in another bedroom). Lock the bedroom door to keep him out if you have to. Otherwise you just need to make sure you wake up and respond when baby does and prevent him from intervening, if you don’t think he’ll listen to you telling him not to.

I think there are two separate issues - letting the baby sleep in the bed, and your bf ignoring your wishes on something you feel very strongly about.

Babies can sleep safely in beds, especially by five months. Though obviously under a duvet isn’t safe. Could you look up the safe co-sleeping guidelines, and then if you’re reassured try to set your bed up to accommodate the baby coming in sometimes? If it’s going to happen anyway it may as well be as safely as possible.

That said, if you feel very strongly that this is putting your baby at risk (and tbh if he’s not moving the duvet out the way etc then it probably is) and have repeatedly asked him not to, then he’s being a dick. Is he trying to get to a place where you do all the night wakings?