Feel a bit odd about DP's friend?

[Mii34]

DP has an old female friend who he sees every month or two. They go regularly for meals with a couple, and as a foursome used to go on weekend breaks. The friend is married.

I've been with DP for a couple of years. I met this group once, and the friend said she felt like a third wheel when my DP was out of earshot. I found this strange as they are a very relaxed group. When I told DP he was shocked at her rudeness.

Anyway, that night she arranged her own lift home instead of sharing a taxi with my DP like she usually would. Since then, they have gone out several times and always taxi share like before.

Is it odd that I want to go out with them again but suggest we all share a taxi so she gets used to me being about?

Sorry that was so long for minor issue!

It's weird your dh double dates with her and not you, how the fuck did that come about? By all means go along, but let her get whatever transport she likes.

It happened from years before I met him. They all used to work together.

I don’t think she needs to get used to you, she needs to get over whatever issue it is she has with your DP having a partner.

The taxi bugs me because it feels like she thinks her behaviour needs to change when I am there. But it should make no difference.

it's your DP that needs to address this problem... not you

She is changing her behaviour. Let her.
Don't pressure her to share your taxi. That would be over-compensating.
I would start attending more of the nights out.

Your DP should be trying to get his friend and you to know each other and hopefully become friends, not having a totally seperate life with her, going out on foursomes with her. He can't say that she's rude when he's playing exactly the same game. This would be a deal breaker for me, it's not normal. Either he pulled his finger out and made you feel included or I'd walk.

I think she just got used to him being single, and maybe enjoyed having him as a bit of a platonic boyfriend.

She's rude. She should be welcoming you with open arms if she is a true friend of your DP because his happiness would be important to her.
On another note, what does her DH have to say about this (quite frankly weird) set-up?!

I think I will go to the next one and see how it goes.

go to all of them lovely... and enjoy yourself

The meals out isn't too weird, it's not odd to socialise with workmates without partners. What is much odder were the trips away, they haven't gone for several years now but I can't think what her husband thought of her going on weekend breaks with a couple and a single man

His closer non-work friends have all been welcoming.

Perhaps he trusts her??

Haha sleeping. I kind of forget about trust when reading these boards. I just like doing things with my DP so foreign trips without them would be odd for me.

Admittedly I've only done foreign trips with my female friends but I had a single male friend travel several hours down the motorway to spend all day with me, go out for dinner and a few drinks. DH looked after our son and never questioned that I added several hours on to my due home time. I'd be mightily pissed off at the suggestion it might be inappropriate. Same as if I regularly holidayed with friends in your circs and doing so didn't impede on my holidays and money with DH

I don't think I'd have found it odd if she hadn't been funny with me.

She does sound put out. Could she bring her DH and you go to do you can ask get typo know each other. If you're here to stay she needs to get over it

Her DH never socialises with them, my DP has only seen him once or twice in 20+ years. I think I will just go along a few more times. It's odd, I don't particularly want to go out with them, just I don't want to let her rudeness push me out.

If you trust him, I wouldn't go if you don't want to.

Depends on her tone of voice re third wheel as to whither it was rude or not. There were two couples and her, unsurprising she felt the odd one out. Taxi thing might have just been she felt uncomfortable, the dynamic os different and possibly you were a little stiff towards her.

Going along to prove a point is silly.

If you don't trust him, tackle thst

I can understand that she may have felt a bit uncomfortable being single amongst two couples but it's ridiculous that that should mean you shouldn't go! Maybe she should bring her husband or add another member to the group. Do they all still work together?

But cri op doesn't even want to go, she's doing it t lay claim to her man

Of course you feel funny about it, she is kind of objecting that you are dps partner really.

She sounds jealous. She's probably had him to boost her confidence while he was single, a bit of a safe flirt, maybe a daydream or two about them getting together etc. Now she can't have that and instead of being a grown up about it she's being awkward.