I can't avoid feeling unappreciated as a Mum

[exaustedofevwrythingbutgoing]

Is it just me ?

Mother's Day... I've heard about breakfast and massage in bed...
I am not materialist, so didn't expected a present ( although it would be a nice surprise).

This morning I woke up first so stood up straight away and then I presume I gave DP no chance to the breakfast in bed.

I've got cards and my favourite chocolate though.
Sundays I go to training and we normally have dinner on the way back. Because today is Mother's Day I expected at least them waiting for me to have dinner together :(

No.
Food was waiting for me cold on the table.
So there went my Sunday without anything special or different happening. I always felt unappreciated as a
Mum in special days and even on my birthday... is always the same. Nothing planned for me, no cakes, nothing.... unless I plan it myself

On my DP's birthday I at least make a cake and prepare a little surprise family party for him... I NEVER had this from him !

I am so sad!
This year is his 40's and although I would love to prepare something special for him I think I will just let it go... my bday is before his and I know I won't have anything !

It's a sad life to live knowing that you will never have any surprise or someone putting some effort to make you feel happy and special .

AIBU with high expectations ?

😥😥😥

Mother's Day isn't your problem, feeling generally unappreciated is.

Have you said this to your family?

Can I ask - are you German?

Have you told your DP how you feel?

No, I'm not German lol

And yes... the general i appreciation is a problem...I haven't said anything ..just hoped he realised that, but to be honest, being the way he is probably he won't 😭

Thank you

You can't expect him to be psychic

Yep I'm with you. Today has just highlighted how unappreciated and unimportant I feel. I was ok this morning but hit a low mid afternoon after I'd done 2 loads of washing, lunch for everyone, tidied the garden. OH had gone to see his mum and to play golf whilst I was left manning the fort single handed as usual. Teen dd couldn't even be bothered to write in the card OH got. I went to Morrisons to get an ingredient I'd forgotten for our evening meal and got myself some flowers. I came home and wondered why the he'll am I doing all this? No one gives a toss about me. I'm still fed up, can barely speak to OH and can't be bothered with the kids. I've no idea really how to change things so I've no advice but can totally sympathise.

Happy valley
Thanks for making me laugh 😂
You are right.... but come on ! At least a little bit of sensibility from him would be welcome... look around, look at me, really that he couldn't even think about waiting for me to have dinner together ?

He wins the Oscar of "I don't give fucks to your day ! "

Dear justgivemesomepiece

I am so sorry that you ended up buying flowers to yourself. I also have A teenager but at least he came to give me a hug.
Life as a mum is hard. Specially if your own partner don't show appreciation for you.
I feel terrible too and not sure how to accept this or go on with a relationship like this. I also wonder WHY ?

Sending hugs on your way 💐

This is my 2nd mother's day and I spent it with a very miserable tantrumming toddler who refused naps, food and any form of entertainment.
DH is working today and says he never had time to pick anything up even though he was out shopping with his mom 2 days ago. I never expect gifts but a card from DD would have been quite nice. Didn't even get a text from him while at work.
Last year for my first mothers day I had surprise flowers and a beautiful card with some little chocolates DH had bought from DD and it was simple and lovely.
Just a little bit of appreciation goes a long way!
Instead I'm going to finish my day off with the rest of the laundry, finish the last few dishes and go to bed.

I got a bottle of wine from my son's bought by their dad. He's exdh. Dss are 17 and 20. I lost my mum recently so would have aappreciated a card. I told present dh not to get a card from them as it's not the same. I'm not normally bothered but bit pissed off today.

Sorry for you OP and the rest of us who feel a unappreciated.

I have a large family and am due another next week, apart from my eldest sending me an e-card, I've gotten nothing🙁 Can't help but feel disappointed.

My mum arranged a card, some sweets and a little plant from my kids. Ds tried to give me £30 of his christmas money which I obviously refused but thought was very sweet and asked if I had a nice day before he went to bed (didn't actually do anything different, usual cooking/housework). So I don't feel totally unappreciated but I have definitely lowered my expectations over the years !!

My first time pregnant daughter moaned all day no one had bought her flowers. She's not even technically a mum yet

But totally missed the fact she didn't even get me a card. I was annoyed but one day she will know how it feels to be undervalued f

I can’t believe how we essentially have to “get used to” feeling unappreciated

Dh did order some —utterly shit— flowers that arrived on Friday, but I wasn’t even wished a happy mother’s day today until we got to my mum and dad’s for lunch (which I did). It was ds1’s birthday today, and dh “forgot” to prompt him to give me a cuddle (he’s only 3).

So whilst he was beside himself with excitement wanting to wish my mum a happy mother’s day, I had nothing until my mum and sister prompted him to wish me a happy MD just as we were leaving.

Which is a good job they did, because he was asleep by the time we got home

My own mother died when I was young so while I want DW to feel appreciated its always a slightly bitter sweet day for me.

I do get a bit pissed off about how little our teenage DCs put into Mother's day, I used to get them to make cards but that fizzled out as soon as they were teens.

I buy them the cards to give along with flowers. This year I got her 2 gifts, albeit one of the gifts, while its something she wants, will probably be used by everyone.

However I was pleased that after years of telling the kids that it's called Mother's day rather than wife's day they actually made some effort. DS bought her some sweets that he knows she likes out of his own money and DD cooked a roast under my supervision. Both were polite and helpful all day.

My input, I have the typical quirky family, and I know they love me. BUT I have no expectations now... let it begin with me... I make my own magic now! Happy Mothers Day!!!💕💕🌸🌸🌸🌸

Well like my dh said to the teenagers when flowers & cards were not produced "he's not my mum" I don't expect anything from him obviously but the teenagers are plenty old enough to get a couple of quid from their dad and nip to the spar to get a card & a chocolate bar.
I don't feel unappreciated though as I know at that age they have their own shit to be going on with.
My main concern today was to make it nice for my mum which I did and I'm happy with that.

Oh op that sounds awful. I agree you need to tell your oh otherwise it will fester.

My dcs are still young but my ds1 made a card at school but didn't want to put mummy so wrote Nannie instead. I felt well and truly mugged off.

Ds1 when asked said just felt like writing Nannie.

Ds1 and 2 did make hand print mini canvases though but it still stings that he didn't put mummy on the card.

Sounds like the problem is more with your DP & his lack of effort.
Talk to him about it.

Nobody has to just "get used" to being unappreciated, talk to your partners and tell them that's how you feel, they probably don't realise an ounce how shit it feels when nobody makes the effort for you when you spend your life doing it for everyone else.
If they DO realise it makes you feel shit and still do nothing, meh, LTB.