He condescends me until I want to kill him

[SnapYap]

Basically what the title says.
What do I do.

I never trust my own judgement/decision making but today I've made myself a pact to trust my own decisions

The other night when he pinned DS down I wanted to him to leave but I didn't trust myself

What about making a plan for you to leave? Could you think about that? Not in a definite time scale way, but in a "if I were to do it, this is how it could work" sort of way. Just a looking into possibilities and addressing any fears you may have about it.

He pinned ds down and your still there?

For the love of god love, if not then/now, WHEN??

Please, this is your rock bottom, his is when you act. If not for you, for your child.

If you really want to stay with him then that's fine as you're an adult and can make your own decisions but please find your child a new home. Does he have grandparents who he can live with? I wish I hadn't read this post as it's quite unsettling. Please protect your child and get him away from that creature of a man. If anyone ever hurt my child, I'd be out of there with just the clothes on my back!

Protect your child. This will get worse. He's an abuser. For the sake of your son remove this person from your lives.