To be upset that he hasn't got me a mothers day card from our son

[Sunshinegirl18]

Our son turned 1 just over 2 weeks ago. I am really sad because although my partner wished me happy mothers day this morning and gave me a hug and kiss he hasn't got me a card or anything else from our son.

I guess if he didn't do it last year or I had made no effort with him for Father's day I could understand. I know it's a commercial thing but I've explained in the past that little things like cards they mean a lot to me.

Last year he got me a card a little plant from our son. I got him a card while I was pregnant and last year did my sons footprint and a little poem for him in addition to a card.

Things have been very difficult between us recently but I feel very upset that he hasn't got me a card from our son.

I haven't said anything, and I'm trying to hide my disappointment as I don't want it to cause another row.

Do you think I'm being reasonable? Or it it just a commercial day and it shouldn't bother me?

Thanks in advance for any replies. I'm feeling very fragile today and isolated xx

He’s a dick

What’s so sad is that so many men don’t get that when your DC are tiny they have to step up, as a 1 yo can hardly get to the shops on his tod

And that when they are tiny it’s really fucking hard work and that’s when, as a mum, you really need a small fucking token of appreciation

Mine are 11 & 14 now and know the drill, can get to shops, have their own money

The first two years DH was shit so I shouted at him

So when they were under 10 he helped sort it. But man those first years. Ugh.

If it's important to you you will have to make it clear. I have 3 kids but really couldn't be arsed with mother's Day so only got a school made card off youngest. I'm fine with that, but if I wasn't I would make sure DH knew. His mum likes a fuss, she gets flowers and cards.

I don't know if dad's buying gifts from the DC was a thing when mine were little, it didn't occur to me. If your partner did it last year though it's a shame he hasn't bothered this year. Did he forget or is it deliberate?

I'm sorry but this is pretty shit. He should be teaching his son to appreciate his mum just as you are teaching him to appreciate his dad.

Hope you are at least getting some time to yourself to relax. Could you maybe go.out for lunch or for a drink with some friends?

Whatever our own beliefs around Mother’s Day, birthdays, Christmas etc, what is important is that we reflect on and provide what makes our loved ones happy.

If your partner knows you feelings around certain celebrations but doesn’t make any effort to make it special for you then he’s not looking after your needs or being considerate. That would piss me off.

I think it may have been deliberate. He definitely knew it was mothers day as he mentioned it on Friday night.

I guess I'm upset because not that long ago we discussed how the little things like cards are important to me. I don't expect expensive or flash gifts, just a card would have done me fine.

I may be doing him a disservice as he did suggest we go out to lunch today to celebrate mothers day (this was when he mentioned it on Friday night). So perhaps I should just be thankful for that.

I has just made me sad and upset because I think he's intentionally not bought one

Ok - you’ll get a lot of supporting messages on here. So - if you want to look for more reasons to be unhappy - that can be it.
But - I think you are just projecting your general unhappiness onto this.

Your partner isn’t your son. You aren’t his mother. He invited you to lunch and congratulated you.
When your son is old enough - he’ll be making you cards.

That’s a shit thing to do guys a bit of a prick. At the minute me and the misses aren’t even talking arguing over no sex life but still took our 3 yr old son out to pick a card and let him fill it in (scribble all over it) and picked a little prezzie he can walk in carrying a give to her. I’d still do this if(more likely a case of when) we break up he ain’t got no job it’s part of my job as a parent to do it

Your partner isn’t your son. You aren’t his mother.

I wish people would stop wheeling out this nasty bullshit..

OP has a one year old who cant yet make or buy a card which her DH knows is important. He is being twat

It's pretty thoughtless, but don't let it ruin your day. Just think of all the lovely cards to come.

Oldeaver - really? Nasty?

What’s nasty about being an adult and not expecting things that 1yo can’t do?
And - also pointing out that - there are two ways to look at most situations.
And that people are different.

OP’s partner didn’t forget Mother’s Day. He asked her out and congratulated her. When her son is bigger - he’ll make a card that will count. And also bring her breakfast in bed, make her a present, etc. All things that kids do.
Pretending that he can do those things at 1yo, and blaming partner for not faking it - is a choice.

OP is generally unhappy with something else in the relationship. Card or not - won’t change it.