No libido after miscarriage and abortion

[early20s]

Back in May last year I was told my chances of having kids would be slim as I've had issues with my periods for years. A month later, after being with my partner for 2 months at the time, I fell pregnant unexpectedly and miscarried at 6 weeks. 4 months later, I fell pregnant AGAIN after being on the pill and which made me severely depressed as I hadn't got over my miscarriage and I certainly wasn't at a point in my life where I felt a baby was right. After making the hardest decision of my life I had an abortion at 9 weeks exactly.

Up until I got pregnant the first time and after my miscarriage our sex life was great. I got my sex drive back pretty much straight away after miscarrying some how. The second I found out I was pregnant the second time, I've HATED having sex with my partner and it's having a massive impact on our relationship. It just doesn't even cross my mind.. I can go weeks without realising we haven't had sex he has to remind me how long it's been. He's bagged me to go to the doctors about it but I'm so embarrassed and don't want the doctors to turn me away..

Has anyone else experienced this or does anyone have any advice?

Also I tried adding this to the 'sex' talk page but wouldn't let me add for some reason. I suppose this comes under 'relationships' too

I think that the head affects sex drive. So, given all you've been thro, I'm not surprised. How do you feel about the second pregnancy?

You deserve help early20’s please go to your GP. Do you have anyone you could ask to go with you?

If you really can’t face your GP, please look into what other support might be available to you. Here’s just the first 2 that came up on a google search. More specialist support is there for people who are going through what you are.

pinkelephantssupport.com/

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/your-feelings/special-circumstances/fertility-problems/

@something2say I still have very mixed emotions about it. I haven't given myself much time to think it through, I went back to work a week later and I so wasn't ready and never spoke about it since. I think subconsciously that I'm not happy about it because the affects it's still potentially having on me now 3/4 months later.

@Joysmum Thank you so much, hearing someone just saying something simple that I deserve help has made me a blubbering mess! I know I do and I don't even recognise myself anymore. My relationship with my fiancé is down at the lowest it's ever been due to my insecurities and paranoid. I've packed and left to stay at family's for a break.. I know I need help and it's ridiculous to say I'm so embarrassed... I just hope the GP doesn't say I'm just going through a bad phase it will go naturally, as I know it's much deeper than that :(