Just need to get something off my chest.

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My SIL has just told me she's preg. My first reaction was how I always feel when I hear this news (eyes well up, give a big hug, remember how it felt for me)
The thing is, I have had a few issues with MIL in the past, mainly regarding my ds, and am a bit peeved that MIL will look after other people's children, but not my ds (her first gc). I know that when SIL has her baby, my ds will go right out of the picture. I have felt uneasy about this happening for some time, but now there actually IS a cousin on the way.
On the other hand, it may go in my favour, in that if MIL behaves with SILs baby like she did with my ds, SIL will give it to her straight.
Maybe I just need to take a step back and let it go - although me and dh are half ttc number 2 and I feel I ought to give it a rest for a while, or it will seem like I'm stealing her thunder (not that I ever could, her and her dh are the golden couple of the family)

Don't worry about stealing their thunder
but I don't understand, why will your MIL not look after your DS?

HI lmb. There was a bit of an issue with dogs (4) being in my ds's face and licking at him etc when he was only just 13 months old. I asked MIL if she would mind keeping said dogs away from my ds when he was round there and she said as it was HER home and HER dogs, she would do as she'd always done. Needless to say, there was lots of upset all round, culminating in her saying she thought it was best if she didn;t look after ds till he was older.
He's nearly 2 now, and it's still awkward with the dogs when I go round there and I know her and FIL think I'm neurotic. That said, ds is MY son, so I feel that I have some right in saying what I do and don't think is appropriate. Oooh, it obviously still winds me up nearly a year later!!!

Aww {{{hugs}}} I know how you feel. I've had issues with ILs and BIL & wife announced they were expecting 4 months after me. MIL response to that was to say to my DH that she was really pleased about their news but that she still didn't approve of ours . Tbh though, it was great they were expecting too...I gave ILs a piece of my mind and SIL seems to have taken my side with it all (I think because she's pg she understands how ILs must have made me feel). It's also helped DH to stand up to them more so I definitely feel more supported. Hoping you get the same effect!

You can't predict which way it will go. Perhaps it may make her look after both children equually or perhaps she may favour SILs. If she's out of order then SIL may speak her mind and it may help you. SIL may also be very protective and back you up on the issue of the dogs (fwiw I agree with you on that too).

But try not to worry or to predict anything. Just focus on the positives. SIL will understand you, she will have a baby and be in the same boat as you. You could be willing babysitters for each other. And your ds will have a cousin who he'll be very close to.

And as for ttc - don't plan your family in relation to anyone else - just do whatever is best for you and dh, and whatever makes you happy.

I understand how you feel MB. My MIL looks after my SILs DDs all the time - they are the "chosen ones" LOL but my DSs have never had a look-in TBH. It's sad but it's her loss IMO. BTW agree about the dog thing and I have a dog

Arrrgh in laws with dogs. Have the same issue and of course the doggies are their wuffly babies and no of course they don't carry germs/savage children.

Sounds like you will be better off without MiLs attention there.

You could get much closer to SiL through this. Even if they are the golden couple.

I hadn't thought of the cousin being close in age, which WILL be nice for them. My SIL made it clear that she didn't like me in the past, but things have changed for the better as time has gone on, and she is very good with my ds.
Hopefully it will help us to get closer (I'm still not very fond of her dh, though!)