How do I do this?

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Don’t know where to go! Married to him 16 years together 23 and he is has been a great husband in so many ways and a wonderful dad to 2 children that adore him, but he is also the most horrible nasty bullying controlling bastard ever and I’m even worse for staying this long, I’m now in a position where I have no support network, financial means to leave. The only way I can get to being anywhere free from him is by me walking away with nothing, but how when I have 2 children that are my life yes there’s options hostels move areas but my kids lives are amazing friends schools beautiful place to grow up etc I can’t up and do that, I need to find a house but no cash, so deposit fees 1st months rent will go on credit card then I’m in debt, on top of debt I will have to continue paying also, I really can’t see how to do it, I want to so much I want more from life than we have had, I want to start again I want my kids to thrive, I’m living with him and day in day out he slags me off puts me down tells me I’m shite, conniving cheating scum and I need to remember where I come from? Im beat but I also know I’m better and stronger and I can do it, but it seems impossible, I need help and I don’t know where to start

Your not beat there are women refuges and charities that can help nobody should ever put up with this behaviour and the children shouldn't ever see this else they will think it is normal and that's the way a normal relationship works. Do you have family anywhere? That can help and as far as moving the kids they will make new friends adjust cos in the long run it will be better for them.

Do you own your house? Does your DH work? You won't be walking away with nothing as you will be entitled to maintenance for the children at the very least, and whatever else you are due from your marriage. You may be entitled to certain benefits living without him.

Can you afford a solicitor? If so, that may be the best place to start. If possible, start putting whatever money you can aside in preparation.

Speak to family and friends - even if you feel you have been cut off from them.

You can do this.

But he hasn't been a great husband if he's a controlling bastard. Could you leave important documents and stuff at work so they are safe when you leave.

Lozbeth thanks for reply I can’t move closer to family due to work, plus I really don’t want to live in a different area and really feel that I shouldn’t have to,

Stickinwithit yes we own home and both work, I just feel that the only option will be to walk, he won’t pay maintenance as will want to share parental, he really believes I have contributed nothing over 23 years and everything we have is of his doing and I’m passed attempting to make him realise any different and do you know the best bit he tells me he loves me more than anything and I could’ve had the world from him?

Bananalanacake yes you’re right he hasn’t,

It doesn't matter what he thinks you're entitled to - only what the law says you're entitled to.

If you are working you may still be able to get benefits based on being on a single income.

If you can, speak to a solicitor and find out what your rights are in terms of staying in the home or getting it sold and taking your cut.