Should DH take DS to MIL's for 4 days?

[munz]

i'm not sure - on the one hand I think it will be good for DH/J to spend quality time together. I know MIL will love fussing over J without me about. and I welcome the 'break' from him. but also in th eback of my mind there's

what if something happens to J and i'm not there (i'd never forgive myself), what if DH can't cope (he doesn't have much patience some days), it's all what ifs, J will be 16 months (ish). should he go - i'm sure he'll have a fantastic time - and these are my issues of being out of control and also not having him around - as he is such a huge part of my life. (have told DB he has to come here/I'm off to them to keep busy) but i'm still not sure.

MIL lives 200 miles away (a good 6 hour drive,) so if anything heven forbid did happen then it would be at least 5 hours for me to get there.

what do u think? - I just need to get it out I think.

4 days sounds quite a long time......
what about a shorter break, time for all the positive things, and then less time for the negative things
i think i would miss mine too much at 16 m for a 4 day break

(I think DH will want to go out with his DB althou DH is going up alone first to get it all out of system as it were) as he's not been up there for 3 years. PIL like to go tot he pub as well, and would have DS in the beer garden with toys. etc.

It's only natural to have concerns, but your DS will be with his father and his grandmother, so he'll be fine.
Why not plan some things to do whilst they are away - catch up with friends, rent DVDs, go sky diving, drink, sleep, whatever, so you'll have something to look forward to.
(Just seen your DB will be visiting, but can't be bothered to delete last para! )

will be friday afternoon till mon morning. otherwise i worry the travel is too much for J.

that sounds more like 2 and a bit days really than 4 days
just about right i reckon

he should be ok shouldn't he? i'm sure he will and it's me being over protective/a worry wort, but after these kidnapping/abductions etc. I hoenstly would never forgive myself if something happened and I wasn't there.

he can be clingy, but also to that end I am also quite with him if that makes sence?

keep thinking about it, and if you are not happy, you can always change your mind.
he will be with your dh and his gps, both who love him very much
only do stuff that is within your comfort zone, or maybe stretch it just abit.
you will know if you are ready to do it

Personally I wouldnt do it and my ds is nearly three, I too would worry about things where my mil is oncernced, she doesnt look out for him like i do or like my parents do...though dh is very good, mil has more of a laisses faire attitude and doesnt seem to see the danger in anything, inlcuding her huge dogs, and often overides dh..

if you have any doubts at all, dont do it, just follow your gut instinct.

also i think the journey is a bit too far at such a young age

I'd jump at the chance if I were you, fantastic opportunity to have a break

I sent my dd to my MILs a week ago for 4 days and it was brilliant!
Such a good break for me and dd loved spending time with her nanny.
They are nearly 2 hours away.

see ours are further again ngb - i'd have no probs with my folks they're an hour half max (driving dead slow) and also mum and I have v similar thoughts.

it's not I think MIL has any differnces to me (bar the pub thing) as to be fair she is v good in respecting our wishes now it's jsut the whole time etc thing.

i'm going to see if we can't get on a 9.50 sun holiday deal or something up there, and all go with the dogs (that's the reason I'm staying behind) so at least i'll be closer to them, and won't feel like so much of a tear away. I ahve family an hour from PIL as well so I can see them etc for the 2 full days. that might be a better idea all around?

Your last idea sounds the best to me. I'd follow your instincts and if you're that unsure I wouldn't let him go.

But if there's any way you can all go up there together, but like you say perhaps you visit your family and do things separately, you'll get the best of both worlds as you're still close by.

Bite their hand off, if I were you. Enjoy it, after the first night you'll be fine. You can't go baseing your judgements on someone elses misfortune. No offence intended, but I can't understand why anyone would think this is a bad thing, be good for your lo to learn social skills with other people and help him bond with your dh.

nooffence taken rhw - it's jsut i'm sure as all of you will understand (and forgive me about being a first time mum here) but since having him i've really woken up to teh horors of the world, and would love to protect him form it all - I know that's stupid, esp cos I can't, and I know he won't be alone etc.

I think we'll opt for the sun holiday deal. (will also save us the hassle of BIL coming down and back wiht that added expense - he was coming down to help DH in th ecar if J got upset whilst driving etc - as he can get ratty at times and obv DH eneds to consentrate on the road) that way I get to see famliy up north and DH will have the time he wants with PIL/DS - good comprimise?

Yes sounds like a good compromise to me