Partner seems uncomfortable that I use a vibrator

[lottieandmia22]

He thinks I shouldn’t use it when I’m on my own because it will desensitise me to him trying to make me come.

It’s quite a new relationship and he gets stressed if I don’t orgasm during sex. I have tried to reassure him about this. He’s uncomfortable too about the idea of using a vibrator with me. His sexual technique is very good and I told him this. I’m not sure what he has against sex toys though.

Ugh. He's insecure and controlling. What you use to pleasure yourself is your business, not his. Don't make his issues your problem and you would be wise to get rid of him.

It’s no ones business how you pleasure yourself , tell him to fuck off.

Presumably he’s assured you that he doesn’t masturbate for fear that it might desensitise him? Id tell him to sod off on that point and his reaction to that would tell me if I should bin him off entirely.

I think some men are a bit obsessive about sex toys and see them as a direct threat or competition rather than something that might supplement or compliment sex. They also don’t seem to know very much about how women use them - so they can’t really see why you might use a small vibrator rather than some huge 10 inch life like dildo. I guess some may not be comfortable with female masturbation as a separate activity to sex with a partner. Perhaps you could buy something non threatening or novel ( like those vibrating ring things that men can wear) and teach him how you would like it used , or perhaps discover something new together and make it a light hearted voyage of discovery so he sees how fun it can be.

He does sound inscure but really he should see it that this is something that pleases his partner and makes her happy and it can be seen to augment what he does from time to time:)

Anyways men can knock one out with thei hand so a vibe is the femakle possibly more fun and quicker method!.

Well I hope he doesn’t wank or use porn, you never know it might desensitise him!

Fucking idiot. Tell him to jog on. Even better, don’t bother telling him if you’ve used it without him. What business is it of his?

I'm a bloke and I can't understand any other man that has a problem with toys.

My DP loves it when we use them together and, to be brutally honest, we couldn't have the fun that we do without them.

A vibrator should be a mans ally not enemy, at least in my opinion.

I just want him to chill out and see it as enhancing. I've used vibrators with other partners. I do really love him and he's amazing. He's a bit older than me though and has always been with people older than him so maybe he's not used to the idea. I do see that his approach is controlling though.

SJ - yes I agree.

Whilst I disagree with him saying you shouldn't use it on your own ...I do find that it can take longer for my DH to get me climax when I've used my Vb a lot.

So from experience I would agree with him saying it desensitizes... but that wouldn't make me stop using it.