OH yells, shouts ...

[yelledshoutedatatat]

Been together a long time. Literally everything I say or do my OH will say something.

If I say something I get yelled at or shouted at, or scoffed at. For example, if I ask why he's arranged an appointment for X date instead of Y/after X it's guaranteed there will be a comment. If I ask why £20 petrol, same. If I want to go to X restaurant (that we both like) there'll be a reason not to go there. If I want to get a car same. Coke, same (the drink, not the drug ).

If I'm driving I will get told I'm too close to the next car, why did I go a certain route, I'm going too fast, too slow.

I've questioned this attitude in the past to be told I'm imagining things. I really have no idea how to handle this situation anymore. It's utterly pointless opening my mouth.

When DH comes to bed he expects to hold hands while we fall asleep (something we've always done, been together over 10 years) and we still are having sex (no consent issues).

So yeah, no idea how I deal with this. I will nip the counselling suggestions in the bud, there is absolutely no way, no way whatsoever that he would consent or come to those.

Can you tell us a bit more about the type of questions your asking him. For example, why are you asking him why he spent £20 on petrol - I would have thought the answer was perfectly clear - and to be honest, i'd be a bit irritated if you queried the times I was making appointments too. Not wishing to sound mean, is it possible you whitter on a bit?

And what do you mean when you say if I want to get a car he'll find a reason not to get one? Do you not have a car? Can't you get one if you need one? Whats that got to do with him?

In short, more detail required.

Having said that

There's only one way to prevent this continuing.

Leave him.

What happens if you simply ignore him when he shouts?

Why do you need to ask why he spent £20 on petrol? Surely because there was no petrol in the car? I’d roll my eyes at DH if he asked me that

Was there a reason he was supposed to arrange the appointment on X and not Y? Otherwise why does it bother you?

If there’s more please explain but I can tbh see why your DH thinks these type of comments are unhelpful

It sounds like you're questioning him a lot and unnecessarily tbh.

On the face of it I can understand why he's peeved.