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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner having a bit of a midlife crisis

2 replies

GreenEyes101 · 09/03/2018 12:09

Hi all,

Just wondering if anyone has had any similar experiences in their relationships/any advice to go with it?

My partner and I have been together over 3 years and everything is going well in both of our lives but lately my partner has been having a bit of an existential crisis and he can’t make sense of it. Many of his friends have started getting engaged, getting promotions and starting families and it seems to be taking its toll on him. He says he has everything he wants with me and his home and how well his job is going so he doesn’t know why he is having moments of sheer panic. I have not put any pressure on him with regards to engagement or kids or anything like that but he sees everything moving so fast around him with his friends and now he’s wondering if he’s in the job he should be in, if he studied for so many years to get the right degree, if he can ever see himself with anyone for the rest of his life – everything is really causing him anxiety and it’s all come on suddenly and been this way for a month or six weeks now. He’s usually a stereotypical bottler who doesn’t vocalize his worries or stresses so this makes it even more concerning.

As a naturally anxious person myself, of course this is panicking me now too but I’m trying to stay strong and be there for him and not make my worries a big deal when he already has so much going on in his head that he can’t make sense of. I’m not convinced this is the most cohesive post I’ve ever made but hopefully you can make some sense of what I’m saying and if so, any advice would be much appreciated!

OP posts:
ravenmum · 09/03/2018 14:55

Maybe there's something he's actually not 100% happy with but he's been repressing the feeling and now it's coming bubbling to the surface? Sounds like he could do with some talking therapy. Just make sure your contraception is well sorted out until his head is sorted out too!

PNGirl · 09/03/2018 15:43

Has anything particularly distressing or stressful happened at home or work? This sounds like the early stages of depression to me, which is often characterised by people fixating on things they can change to make themselves feel better.

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