Distant partner

[advicerequiredplease]

I haven't felt close to my other half of 3 years for the last month or so. I feel he only cuddles me when he is after something I.e. sex.

He says he feels distant from me because we haven't been having sex

I don't want to have sex with a person who feels distant.

So we are both at other ends of the scale.

I don't go to cuddle him and fix the lack of closeness, because I know it'll end up with him trying it on. I just want a week or so of feeling "close" to get me to want to do that.

Any advice? I suppose I'm just here to vent :(

I think one of you needs to get off of the roundabout, before it spins too fast & you both fall off.

I can see both points here

We're basically in a shit circle which we can't get out of

Nope don't blame you either, you should never feel pressured into sex just because you are showing your partner affection and I am sorry, I think he IS just after sex so that makes you feel less inclined.

Are you sure you want to continue with someone that makes you feel this way, I think I'd be moving on.

Does he ever surprise you, take you out spontaneously, make a nice dinner for you, a rose, just anything, doesn't have to be a big gesture, and at 3 years it should still be fresh and exciting......if you feel he only wants you for sex then that's probably because he makes it all about sex, a relationship involves a lot more than that to be sustained.

Well surely there's only 2 things you can do here:

1. You both try. He becomes less distant and shows more affection without wanting sex. You maybe need to try put the distant thing in the back of your mind and see things from his point. Don't force yourself into sex with him but try show him some affection too.

1. Split up.

Imo, if you both want it to work then you will both do whatever it takes. If not, split up. If only one of you wants to try....split up

Good luck