Been with DH 15 yrs. Eight years ago after a close family member died I felt very let down by him, he decided to take a month long trip with his pals, I was grief stricken, he didn't think there was anything wrong in leaving me alone. I had a friendly neighbour who was a listening ear, and Simone DH was familiar with. For a very brief period of a week I thought I'd developed feelings for this man, and became flirtatious towards him, then realised how wrong it was and stopped communicating with him. About 9 months later DH for unknown reason opened my old phone bills to discover I'd messaged the neighbour a lot in that week, but never again. He confronted me and I told the truth, he said he did not believe me and has ever since said he knows I slept with this man, which I did not. I was pregnant when he confronted me and he spent the rest of the pregnancy calling me a slag. He's brought it up many times over the years, and again now and it's 8 years on and has told me he will never believe me, claims he heard sex noises and laughter, which was mine, and also thinks I made an amateur porno with this guy and it's on the internet, though he's never produced it, but says he's seen it. I don't think I can stay married to someone who is not going to believe something so fundamental. I find his reaction unbelievable and don't think it helps us have a good relationship. He does not want a divorce just wants to carry on and try to forget about it.
I feel so tortured by it, it affects how I can be with him, I constantly find myself thinking this is a man who thinks I had sex with someone else and made a porno.
I have a job working with the public not even that helps him see I would never want to be in a porno.
It's weird I know.
What do you think?
Could you stay with someone who didn't believe you?
If he started believing you, would you stay? I think he might pretend he believes me in desperation but he wouldn't really, and I feel like the damage has been done by him accusing me and not believing me for 8 yrs.