DS told daycare he saw papa hitting mama

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I don't even want to admit to myself how real this makes the situation.
IRL I am a very private person and I think everyone would be shocked if they knew about our abusive relationship. Especially as DP has the reputation as a lovely, kind family man.
Nursery called me to the office today to explain how DS told them a story in detail about the weekend of papa hitting mama. They even suggested that it was a cry for help, as if they might be able to make it stop. My heart breaks.
I don't think the situation is regular domestic abuse. It doesn't happen very often although he is emotionally abusive too and often attacks my weak spots for example - "you can't organise your life, why are the tools not washed. The only thing you are good at is being a house mother to the kids - nothing in the house gets done". Honestly, I try my best to keep on top of everything but I am also setting up my own business and sometimes I choose work over household commitments. He never wants to reason with me, it's his way or no way. The situation he relayed happened on Saturday where DP wrestled me to the ground by twisting my arms and when I tried to pushed him off he punched me twice, (on the shoulder and arm). He did want to do more but he managed to control himself in time. The worst part was that it was in front of DD and DS - because DS had painted his face and hands with my lipstick.
The daycare have suggested I contact a lawyer to record these things and get advice.
I have no idea where to go from here. Because he did it in front of the children I do realise the seriousness of the situation as they shouldn't see that - never mind it should never have happened, I do know that too. And straight away I told him I was leaving him. Although I really don't know how I could actually do that.

Can someone please advice me what I should do now. What kind of lawyer am I looking for and what do I tell them. It hurts so much to think I might not see my children every day now

the effect of domestic violence on children -

www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/impact-on-children-and-young-people/

No advice as you've already been given great advice.

Sending you a hug x

Your child has been traumatised by what he saw and heard and is continually exposed to a toxic and frightening living situation.

Stop minimising it, there's violence and abuse in your relationship and your poor child has been dragged into the drama too; only you can change this, he won't, he probably likes pushing you about and has not a care about your child being abused in the process; I am glad the school at least are taking this seriously.

You need to contact WA and start making plans to separate from this coward and bully, it won't get better and you will continue to damage your child.

Witnessing DV as a child absolutely ruined my childhood and soured my teenage years. It has taken me decades to understand it and recover. I am 37 and occasionally still suffering for it.

Do not let your children be part of this.

Thank goodness ypur child told daycare.your small child knows this is very wrong.
Take it as yes this is real regular domestic abuse.

See lawyer today.
Make plans to leave with child.
Don't tell your husband until you are away and safe.

Today.
Now.
He cam control and chooses a d he will keep doing it. Report and get him charged with assault.
But first get you and d's away from him to safe place.

How is this not domestic abuse?

Call the police immediately. If you don't, you will eventually be in a situation where your children CAN be taken from you. because you don't seem to understand that your responsibility is to protect your DC from witnessing this horrific violence??

I'm struggling to imagine what you WOULD think is worth calling the police for? Does he need to break your arm in front of them or what?

If you report this assault to the police, you will not lose access to your children. If you don't report, you are much more likely to have them taken off you. You need to understand that. YOU are responsible to take action here.

I hope neither you nor your disaster of a husband has said anything to your little boy to
make him feel he has done something wrong by talking about this.

The nursery should have safeguarding procedures that ensure this is reported to social care. However I’m not sure you are in the UK or not.
Please leave. Your children will be much much worse off living like this. I used to work with children (many of whom had similar stories / backgrounds) and it was awful for them. Often the parents were aware it was difficult but not the extent of the damage. Children would often divulge lots of things to me the parent(S) were convinced they’d been sheltered from. Eg - they didn’t see anything / they were asleep / it wasn’t often.
You and your children deserve better.

Ditto the poster above who points out you not leaving can be construed as you not being able to protect your children.
They will be very damaged if they grow up in this environment.

OP?

OP? Are you ok. You can talk to us. Hope you are ok. Do you have anybody else you can go stay with?

Have you contacted Women's Aid, or whatever the similar organisation in your country is, if you're not in the UK? They should be able to advise you on how to go about leaving your husband.

If you have bruises, you should consider going to the GP and getting them photographed, explaining how you got them. This will be recorded and will be useful evidence in the future.

You should also make efforts to gather financial information while you still can - make sure that you know how much money you/ he have, and where it is. Know what assets you have. If your children have passports, keep them with you so he can't take them.
Do not tell him again that you are leaving him until you are ready to walk out the door.

Talk to your friends and family - explain what is happening and enlist their help.

I do hope that you manage to stay safe and get away from him before he starts on the children, or really hurts you in their presence. :(