Fiancé's family!

[FirstTimeEgg]

I’ve had a pretty rough year starting in May last year my own brother assaulted me which ended up with me calling the police, it has now created a rift within the family but this is mostly under control now...then my partner and I found out we were pregnant however at the 20 week scan there were complications, we were given multiple MRI scans and an amnio to rule out an Encephalocele and Edwards syndrome...we were heartbroken to think we were going to have to do a medical termination...we now have a happy healthy baby...thank god! My partner proposed on Christmas Day and we have decided we will get married this year and then try for another baby....however his sister has waded in after only two weeks of us planning our wedding (I should also mention she is getting married in July 2019), twisting about us copying details of her wedding, her invitations, candelabras on the table, using the same photographer and florist...oh and not asking her little girl to be flower girl....however, our invites are nothing like hers, candelabras come as part of our package, photographer and florist aren’t even booked...I am just on getting quotes and seeing if I like the people or not (I need to get a good vibe from people to feel comfortable), and we hadn’t even decided on the flower girl situation yet as we were in talks about it...her little girl hardly takes a nice photo in the local pub so I am apprehensive paying so much for a photographer for her to be pulling stupid faces! I feel very hurt that she has done this and she has essentially ruined part of my wedding planning and still has not apologised to me for it yet (its now just over two weeks ago).

I am not sure how much more of a battering I can take at the moment...it’s only my gorgeous little boy who is keeping me going. The invites have gone out but she isn’t receiving one till I have received a genuine apology and I see fit! Am I in the wrong to do this? My partner (her brother) agrees that I am doing the right thing and she needs to sort the situation out...so he is fully supportive.

His sister also twisted at him about how when she had her little girl she was back to work at so many weeks and doing this and that at so many weeks, however he quickly pointed out that she was taking her little girl to his mam’s house which enabled her to do these things and also that her little girl slept whereas our little boy doesn’t and I am doing everything on my own, not relying on my parents or anyone else to do it for me whilst I swan off to work after so many weeks!

Ordinarily we have always got on, I actually like her and enjoyed spending time with her, so I am really confused as to why she is doing all this!

It's your wedding and you can do as you like. Similar decor is hardly going to be noticed. It's a different bride and groom and a different venue.

I suspect she's jealous it's not all about her.

Regarding the invitations...I'd leave it to uour fiance to invite her...he's saying it's up to you...but it's his sister.

Not inviting her...whether she apologises or not will cause major problems.

You don't have to have het daughter ad a flower girl. I think the bridal party choice is down to the bride in accordance with tradition.

Someone demanding it would put me off asking them tbh.

I mean this kindly but I wonder if you’re being a little over sensitive due to everything you’ve been through which sounds very difficult and maybe sleep deprivation? I’m sorry if I’m wrong but it sounds like she’s upset that the focus of weddings has been taken away from her and is panicking that your wedding will be better or too similar and people will compare the two.
Obviously there’s nothing wrong with you getting engaged and married when you want and I’m not saying you’ve done anything wrong but when I was planning my wedding I think I’d have felt a little like that if my sibling had then got engaged and was having their wedding before mine.
If you can try to imagine from her point of view that she feels that the focus that was on her wedding is now on yours and maybe try to reassure her that your wedding will be very different to hers.
She probably hasn’t thought about what a tough time you’ve had and is focused on how she feels instead. That’s possibly where the unkind comments have come from about how she was after her baby compared to you.
If you can maybe try to have an open conversation about it and ask why she’s being this way

Thanks for your replies...I am definitely not being sensitive about it, she is out and out being unreasonable. My fiancé agrees she needs to apologise and I believe her parents do too from what my fiancé says. At the end of the day my brother got married and used the same song that my fiancé and I will be using...I had this picked long before they got married and I would have felt like a right plonker telling him he couldn't use it! Women should build each other up, not knock each other down...well that's my view point anyways...however I also won't be walked all over.

Apparently her dad had asked her when we got engaged how she would feel if we got married before her and she was fine about it because financially they need to save up and they want their daughter to be older...whereas we are able to fund our own wedding when it suits us...that should not be In no means held against us or made a reason for her to try and ruin my planning...it's supposed to be one of the happiest times of a woman's life.

She sounds like an insecure and jealous idiot. The good thing is that your fiancé isn't defending her and understands the situation so ignore her bullshit and enjoy your wedding planning