Shall i cut ties???

[Flash11]

I need advice on my 20 year friendship and whether i should drop this....

We have known each other for all out lives bit be active 'besties' for nearly 20 years.

Been up and down but solid until 2014 when a friend of hers turned nasty towards me, sending me vile messages. I, somehow turned all adult and didnt rise to her bait but upset me how my friend didnt have my back. I get she was stuck in the middle but she must have told her stuff about me due to the info that this girl was using against me.

Anyway, i decided our friendship deserved another go, although alot of trust had been lost.
I was having IVF at the time of her wedding, my egg collection was the same wkend of her hen and because of this, i couldnt book or go..

I got pregnant, with twins... i had already had 2 miscarriages so was so very anxious. I started bleeding a week before her wedding and was diagnosed with a threatened miscarriage, and due to her wedding being 150 miles away, i was advised, medically, not to go, so i didnt. I was so upset. Unfortunately, i lost one of the babies.
She got married, we avoided each other until she came to me weeks later and tells me she is pregnant, we also had a convo where she tells me how upset she was i didnt go to her wedding (the same girl who for the last 2 years had held me when i sobbed for my miscarriages).
I decided one last ditch attempt. So we both had our babies, both boys and continued being friends but with me knowing things werent the way they once was.
Anyway, ive known her husband for years... i went to school with him and yet, he treats me like he doesnt know me well... he is very arrogant... and so are his friends. I am friends with some of their wives
I got married last year and invited my BF and a friend (their husbands are best friends) and i knew, despite me knowing them for years, they really didnt want to go. They still did.

Fast forward til today, a conversation was had between me and BF where she didnt deny and almost admitted that they both (husbands) didnt want to go.
Its pretty much a case of the husbands think they are better than me... that i am lower class than them as they are so clicky and come across so judgemental.
Im so hurt, with my friend, her husbands views and the fact she didnt deny it that im very much questioning if i need her in my life.

What do you think???

Your friend is allowed to be upset you were not able to go to her wedding. But are you saying she was upset with you? Because there is a difference. She isn't responsible for the way her husband is or what he feels, and they did go to your wedding so your friend obviously cared. Sometimes friendships do come and go, it sounds as though you are drifting apart. Only you know how you feel and whether you still want to be friends.

She specifically said she was upset with me, her words, she was angry with me
Yeah, i thought alot about her husband and how it isnt her fault, and it really isnt... but i came away yesterday from meeting her feeling very 'second class to them'.....

I think I personally would have cooled off the friendship long before this event. It doesn't sound like she makes you happy op. I personally would let it go.

Hmmm, im not sure that she does anymore. I think i have clung on because ive never really not had her in my life and because, she knows some very private things about me, that if came out, could really change my world.
I dont actually trust her much either as i think she fuels the fire with the friend that doesnt like me and yet, she comes to me and bad mouths her...
I told her yesterday, nobody is better than me and i shouldnt be made to feel that they are....

She doesn't sound very nice at all to be honest. She is upset and angry that, despite you actually losing a baby, you didn't go to her wedding.
As for her husband, she didn't have to tell you that. There is such a thing as 'tact' which she clearly has none of.

Her husband also sounds vile. Life is too short to be surrounded by people who upset you and make you unhappy.

If im honest, i dislike her husband alot. He is an accountant, owns his own business and with that, he is incredibly arrogant.
For her, as it should, everything in life has gone to plan, fell pregnant twice, no complications and she had experienced minimal heartbreak which is exactly how life should be, but she is very lucky, with this though, doesnt give her experience in life, so alot of the time, she misunderstands feelings or situations.
I dont think she ever believed i was expecting twins and if im honest, i also think she doubted my honesty about my threatened miscarriage, which begged the question on whether she really knew me at all...

She is NOT a good/nice friend. You sound lovely. She doesn't deserve your friendship.

Oh, believe me, im no where near perfect as friendships go... ive probably done wrong in the past as some point, but id hate to make her feel they way she makes me feel sometimes and probably without her even realising it. Im loyal to the length of our friendship... i may distance myself a little, see how that goes x