He loves the gym more than me.

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DH is obsessed with the gym/sport in general. He goes a minimum of 6 days a week. Every night he gets back late from work or the gym and then the night revolves around getting ready for the gym again the next day. Washing kit, meal prepping, talking about what he did etc. I go running a couple of times a week but don't harp on about it. He rarely wants to do anything in the evening, often will fall asleep on the sofa at 8:30. We are TTC but don't always have sex, because he'll fall asleep while I'm getting ready for bed. Help ! I know he is trying to keep fit, but I'd just like a little more time with him. I have asked him to cut back, but he won't as he needs it for stress relief and as he goes through the day at work says it's doesn't impact on our evenings - but it does when an hour is taken up with gym prep and he calls it a night at 8:30 !

As going to the gym energises you, I do not think his tiredness is caused by the gym,it could be work related stress, not enough sleep etc.

As for the frequency of visits, surely what matters is if he’s prepared to cut down when you have a baby, what he does now is less important.

Can he go to the gym in lunch break and then be home earlier from work? I go gym 5 / 6 times a week but for the body parts that can be done quickly such as arms, back , shoulders , chest I can easily fit into an hour.

Meal prep - do this at the beginning of the week to cover for the next 3 days so say Sunday evening I do all my meals for the next three days .

Gym clothes - plan what he is going to wear for the week at the beginning of the week.

This reduces the daily hassle . Xx

And I don't mean you meal prep for him or sort his clothes , obvs he needs to do this xx

He goes through the day, as it's seen as team bonding. So he can't/won't go at night. But by the time he finishes work commutes home has dinner its late and he's exhausted! We work out together at the weekend. He preps as much as he can .... but still seems to faff about, washing/drying kit etc ! Then a Friday/sat its team sport !

I can't see what the problem is with a male perspective @NotTheFordType.

@NearlyThirtyDad hasn't said anything unacceptable or unreasonable. Admittedly I didn't read his username when I read his first post and thought it seemed like sensible advice - so the fact it came from a male is neither here nor there.

Anyfucker - clapped out gym bunny?? Bit rude.

OP - did you manage to have a talk with him? Maybe he cut down the amount he goes to the gym and spend more time investing in your relationship. Is he as keen for a child as you are? (I don't mean to sound harsh, just trying to get the full picture)

Honestly... he may be going to the gym to de stress (as people do) but if he is spending so much time there because he is “stressed at work” wait until he gets to the “stressed at work, with a baby who can’t sleep and a partner who is so very tired and fed up of being left with all the responsibility to sort the house and care for the baby alone because he needs, needs, to go to the gym”. You won’t see him at all.

People do not change. I can assure you however, hand in heart, that being a single mum is far easier and less painful and frustrating than raising a child with such selfish kind of twat.

For a lot of men the reality of what a baby entails doesn't kick in until a baby actually arrives so it could just be a case of out of sight, out of mind. Just throwing another perspective out there.

Sounds like a midlife crisis to me.

What’s all the prep he’s doing? I go to the gym or running about 6 days and week and literally just grab kit, takes about 5 mins to put it on or stuck it in a bag. If he needs to wash it every day he hasn’t got enough shorts and t-shirts and a quick trip to the local sports shop or online shop can sort that.

Yes he does, and he will love it more than a baby too, so I’d rethink the ttc.

I might be totally missing it here, but bare with me...

How long have you been TTC? Could it be (if you are 'struggling') that he is finding it hard, emotionally, and trying to prove to himself that he is still a 'strong' man, and by going to the gym/taking control, he's giving you a show of testosterone?

Men struggle emotionally with TTC too, so it could maybe be that..?

He's not exactly showing himself to be a strong man if he's in bed by 8.30 every night!

If he's working all day, and then putting all his energy into being at the gym, distracting himself by food prepping (making lunch?) in the evening, no wonder he's spent!

I'm in be by 9pm if I've been to the gym after work!