Love you

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been seeing someone since November. The guys is French so I’ve noticed some quite different dating styles! It’s getting fairly serious now. He asked me to remove my online profile quite early on and been saying recently - ‘sending you some love’ ‘sending you lots of love’ etc etc which I just saw and very sweet and nothing more.

But last night he just said ‘love you’ and I was slightly taken back. I didn’t really know how to react 😆 I’m not sure if this is the big ‘I love you’ or what? We are currently having a LDR, but see each other as often as we can.

And by the way he isn’t the player type of guy. I think this is coming from a genuine place. Any ideas?

I think only he is really going to know. Everyone will be different & to declare love after 3 months, seems to be quite forward but, it may be his way. I think you’ll need to ask him

Thanks the Naze! I’m not going to say anything and just carry on as normal. It’s all positive, I’m going to France next week so perhaps he is leading up to it. Will see!

Well, best of luck, enjoy the today, don’t worry about the future for now & have a cracking trip

Thanks the Naze 😊 it is a lovely feeling though! x

The way it was said does seem like a sort of endearment rather than a declaration if you see what I mean?

I reckon just leave it and see what happens when you see him. I hope you have a good time in France and that things continue to go well.

Cake that’s what I think too and I’m totally fine with that as well. It’s quite early for me to be declaring the big I love you! But it’s still incredibly lovely.

Hi OP, just another perspective:
I am French, and I think we tend to say "I love you" a bit earlier in a relationship. But it's not usually the big I love you.

I remember noticing with my friends that it is always such a big deal in the American or British movies, and it seemed quite strange to us!

It depends on how familiar he is with the nuances of everyday English.

In most other Latin based languages you don't hear the equivalent "I love you" unless you really meant it.

So he may have interpreted the fact that since "love you" is much more frequent in English and doesn't necessarily have all charge and responsibility it always does in French.

In short he might have expressed more than I like you but short of I love you.

All of this is pure speculation of course.

Admitting that you love someone is something that can potentially render you very vulnerable. It can mean that the other person is able to wield power over you, so many people are reluctant to come out and say it in direct terms. They may hedge their bets in order to protect themselves.

My partner of 15 years blurted out that she loved me one day and then cried her eyes out; she thought that the knowledge would enable me to hurt her emotionally. It sounds as though he may be coming from a similar place, so don't be hard on him. He seems like a nice guy who is in touch with his emotions, but is still frightened of where it may lead.

I presume that you have slept with him and you're not going to be 15 years old, so his profession of love for you is hardly likely to be a confidence trick designed to get inside your pants. I'd say 'Go for it.'

Ha yes we’ve already slept together and he has gotten even closer to me since then. He everyday sends me photos of France and what he is doing and a lot of the time uses the word love in some context. So I believe he sort of means it. My gut is telling me he is working up to it!