Alternative to ghosting?

[WellyBooties]

I've been friends with a woman for the past two years however, I want out. I feel suffocated.

She is a lovely person, but we are just too similar (we even have the same name) and although it sounds terribly melodramatic, I feel I'm losing my identity as a separate person. She wants to go everywhere with me, be friends with all my friends and recently traveled over 100 miles to surprise me on a day out I had planned with my family.

I was just wondering, as ghosting is so frowned upon on MN, how would you suggest I end this friendship (or at least cool it)?

Have you ever said anything to her? Maybe give her the chance to back off a bit.

She turned up on your family day out?? How did she know where you would be? I’d suggest the first thing you start doing is stop sharing so much info with her. Stop posting your life on Facebook etc (if you are doing that). Shut down all your social media accounts so that she can’t see what you are up to. You have obviously blurred the boundaries and let her see/know everything. Before you cut her off completely, stop info sharing and see if that helps. It might be possible to have a normal relationship with her if you set some boundaries. She obviously thinks you are up for the BFF type thing and she must have got that idea from you to begin with!

When we first met she had recently moved to the area and didn't know anyone. We spoke in the school playground and as we had lots in common we started meeting for coffee and I told her of various groups that might interest her.

In a normal conversation, she asked what we were up to in the holidays and I mentioned where we were going, she said it sounded like fun. I honestly didn't think she'd turn up too.

I'm finding it hard to set boundaries without being rude. She will wait for me at school collection and ask where we're going. I can't really lie as I have my DD with me who will say "No we're not, we're going .....", and she'll always invite herself and her DD along.

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A friend of mine is going through a similar thing. This young mum has clung onto her since having her baby and turns up places etc barely letting my friend have other friends. If she knows there's something going on without her she will phone several times during the time slot, it's very stalkerish IMO and freaks me out. My friend has tried to say things like 'I just want a night with my family' or 'can I call you in a few days' to try to put her off but there's no getting away from her, she simply ignores he hints. As a pp said she has come off FB due to this person. My friend is also left looking after her baby who is very sickly (likely due to the mother smoking and drinking throughout the pregnancy to the point the baby had to be taken out early) my friend feels like she almost has to do it for the well-being of the baby. It's awful. It's controlling and manipulative behaviour as unacceptable. If I were you, or my friend I would just tell them straight if kindly hints don't work.
You have a life outside of the friendship and you have been neglecting that life. You will be in touch in a few day/weeks or whatever when you get your head straight but would appreciate the privacy to do what you need to do, sorry if that upsets you.