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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU or is he just taking the piss

24 replies

Catherine0201 · 06/03/2018 21:19

Me and my boyfriend live seperately, I’m currently pregnant, potential ectopic have a scan tomorrow morning. I had planned to come back to my boyfriends tonight (I had been out all day but was there this morning). We planned what we were having for dinner at his and I said I would come around 5-6. He then told me his friend was coming round who needed his help, but I could still come as his friend was only staying briefly. Then I called him an hour later and he said his friend was at his house, I was ready to drive there but then he told me he was going out to see his other friend. I was confused as I was meant to be coming round, he said I can still come and wait for him to come back, I asked about dinner and he said he could still make it when he comes back. I said im not interested in eating late and I was annoyed as my mum had offered to make me dinner and I had declined thinking I was eating at his house. I refuse to just sit in his home and wait for him to come home like a loser who has nothing better to do. But I’m so annoyed that my scan is so early and the hospital is so far away we have to be up at 6AM tomorrow. I asked him to at least be back at his by 10 to which he said he’ll try, I then even said id come and pick him up and he declined. Clearly he has no intention of being home at that time, I’m just hurt that he Went out when we had planned to stay in and also I’m worried if he stays out late he won’t get up for my scan :( I’m really angry, is it just my hormones making me crazy or do I have right to be angry

OP posts:
Catherine0201 · 06/03/2018 21:20

Also, he still is not back at his at nearly half 9 and he is now at a pub

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 06/03/2018 21:22

This is him, shouting loud and clear where you rank in his priorities. Listen to him.

I hope your pregnancy is not ectopic. Best of luck tomorrow. Flowers

BrutusMcDogface · 06/03/2018 21:23

You poor thing. Yanbu to feel angry. Hopefully its some kind of life and death situation for your partner and his friend but if it isn't, he's an arse.

I hope all is ok at the scan tomorrow. Could you just stay at home tonight and get your mum to go with you in the morning? Flowers

maceymoo20 · 06/03/2018 21:57

He sounds like a right selfish man! He should be with you knowing what your going through not out drinking with his mates?

Hope everything goes ok tomorrow for you

Irishtwinmumma · 06/03/2018 22:04

He should be supporting you through this.... hope you get good news tomorrow!

Catherine0201 · 06/03/2018 22:51

Thankyou I’ll keep you updated! We argued as he came back but then said he was going back out to his pals house I said I didn’t want to be left at his Alone and that it’s unfair to stay out till 4am when we have to be up at 7. I know he is difficult to get up in the mornings, he didn’t go out but is now in a mood due to our argument and is currently lying next to me not talking to me :) fabulous

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greenlanes · 06/03/2018 23:04

listen to what he does, not what he says.

Hope you are Ok tomorrow. But I wouldnt have a child with this man.

AnyFucker · 06/03/2018 23:14

You did wait in like a lemon for him then ?

He sounds like a waste of space to me. He is treating you like shit.

Hellywelly10 · 06/03/2018 23:25

Good luck with the scan op. How does he behave usually? Is this a one off? Or does he behave like this regularly?

Naughtysausage · 06/03/2018 23:30

What shitty behaviour. You aren't being unreasonable at all.
Totally agree with the PP's that he's telling you who he is.

Hope your scan tomorrow goes well. Thanks

Djnoun · 06/03/2018 23:33

He's a twat

Bastardingcough · 06/03/2018 23:35

You don't need this hassle when going through all the pregnancy worries. O really hope the scan brings good news.
BF sounds really immature. You need him to man up if he's going to be a father.

Catherine0201 · 07/03/2018 06:40

I didn’t wait in for him, I agreed to drive to his at 10 and asked him to be home for then, it’s only when I got in the house he asked if I would be okay with him going back out with his pals I said no. I told him if it was any other day I wouldn’t mind and I would go elsewhere but it’s not fair to leave me at his house and go out with his friends. Makes me feel like an idiot. So then argument escalated, he’s not like this all the time no usually he’s lovely. He just has a really unreasonable streak sometimes especially when it comes to his friends.

OP posts:
Angelf1sh · 07/03/2018 07:04

You are going through and incredibly difficult period (yes he’s also experiencing it but it’s not remotely the same for him) and he wants to go out drinking with his mates instead of supporting you? That’s outrageous behaviour.

As dreadful as an ectopic pregnancy would be, if it is then I’d use it as an opportunity to rethink your situation. I would not be having a baby with this man.

elisenbrunnen · 07/03/2018 09:39

He is 'usually lovely'?

Do you 'usually' just say 'oh ok then' and acquiesce when he wants to do something? For a quiet life?

Have you ever had a situation like this, where it is important to you that he does

MrsElvis · 07/03/2018 09:42

No way he's out of order. What would he be like if there was a baby around?!

martellandginger · 07/03/2018 09:48

The man is talking to you loud and clear. You need to listen and hear him. Base your future decisions on this new knowledge.

If anybody made me wait in their house while they were having a good time I’d wonder if I was a fool and they would rank rather low in my priorities from then on.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 07/03/2018 10:55

I hope you get good news this morning, OP.

You boyfriend sounds like a selfish twat. Does he understand what an ectopic pregnancy is?

Is he going to do that when the baby arrives? (Fingers crossed for you?) I think you might need to rethink the relationship and put yourself first, even if he doesn't. Flowers

Catherine0201 · 07/03/2018 12:45

Had scan boyfriend came with me, so in shock, after The past 2 weeks of being offered methotrexate injection and that I most likely have ectopic, went in today to have an internal ultrasound with sac identified in the right place in my womb and a heartbeat :) because my pregnancy started off weird with varying hcg levels they told me not to be too optimistic but the nurse was so shocked to see heartbeat in the right place

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 07/03/2018 12:50

Oh that's great news! Thanks for the update. Really happy for you! Grin

Any apology from BF? Wink

notWORKzilla · 07/03/2018 12:54

Congratualtions!

Now bin that selfish loser of a boyfriend.

Catherine0201 · 07/03/2018 12:55

Yeah he apologised this morning :)

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timeisnotaline · 07/03/2018 21:29

Great news re the baby, but it’s far from great from your bf. If he won’t be there when you really need him, it hardly matters that he is there other times when it suits him.

AnyFucker · 07/03/2018 22:15

Glad about your baby

I expect we will be seeing you here again very soon though Sad

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