Estranged relatives rearranged my post!

[jjessica550]

Hi,

Estranged relatives have sent my DD a parcel/card (not sure which) for her birthday; signed for Royal Mail. We missed the first delivery attempt and received the royal mail red card. We thought we'll pick it up the next time we pass the post office. This post is unwanted really but we're hoping estranged relatives would stop sending cards and it would just fizzle out after the first year of NC. We haven't sent anything back to them, and they haven't been encouraged in anyway. There has been NC just under a year.

I've just received an email today stating the parcel/card redelivery has been arranged for later this week! I haven't done this and neither has my DH so our estranged relatives have gone online and put my details in to rearrange it! Any ideas of where I would go from here?

They will have been tracking it, seen you were red carded and rearranged, I would refuse the parcel and return to sender

In your situation I’d simply refuse the delivery when it arrives.

And don’t contact your relatives. People like this thrive on the drama.

Oops x posted

Refuse the delivery.

Or so they know you don't want it. Sign for it. Then return it.

Close down your existing email address, open a new one and port everything over to there.

Thanks for the comments. I agree completely they will/are thriving on this drama. The estranged relatives are my parents and throughout my life they have always looked for some drama or something to get one over on me or give them an excuse to be abusive.

I think refusing the delivery will be exactly what they want, in their mind it'll be a reaction and from past experience they've used that as their ticket to show bad behaviour towards me and my family. They don't have respect and they want something they'll do it.

I don't know what others think but I see this as an exhibit of controlling behaviour and neurotic as well.

All thoughts and opinions are welcome.

Do not return the item to your parents, the response from you is what is wanted here by them and they know they have you then. Such disordered of thinking people use unwanted items or "gifts" to continue to try and exert power and control over their victims. They were never going to let go of you that easily, this type of action is par for the course for such people.

Radio silence from you must be maintained, there must be no response from either you or your H.

I would accept the delivery and immediately dispose of it via taking it to a charity shop. If its a card shred it, do not give it any more power. Do not expose your child to their emotional manipulations in any way.

I think you should avoid the delivery and collect the item in your own time and I certainly wouldn’t rush (this will take away their power and show you’re doing what suits you.) Keep what ever they have sent to you as evidence with other post they have sent (you never know in the future you may need it should you need to seek a restraining order.) What ever you do don’t return anything or contact then in anyway; a reaction is contact and what they will be trying to antagonise from you. Good luck OP

Also they don’t know you know it’s from them and therefore this would explaining you collecting the post.

Collect it, sell it, donate proceeds

Collect it but say nothing after. They will probably continue to send your DD a card and present every year, why would they stop? There is another consideration though. How will your DD feel when she is older and she finds out you didn't give her the cards and the presents that they intended for her? I don't have an answer for that one. So it's tricky.

Do you definitely know they’ve rearranged delivery or are you assuming it? I’ve had the post office just decide to redeliver before (which I found out at the depot when I’d gone to collect it a week later and they were trying to redeliver at the same time!) and nobody had interfered with it. I think the postman was just trying again because the van was in the area.

Thanks for the comments, I rang to query with Royal Mail because I got an email from them saying 'Thanks for rearranging' so when I queried they said it had been rearranged using my email address. Nobody has done that within my household.

They are abusive people so my DD will hopefully be thankful that she has had no interaction with them; i will explain to her when the time is right. They arent bothered about her and have gone about their life quite happily for over a year as if she doesn't exist. They actually cut off the contact with us, initially I asked for some time to process my past with them but they quickly responded by telling me, my DH and one year old DD to have a nice life!

Thanks for all comments and support.