Anyone ever had a bit of a backslide with an ex?

[elliejack85]

I'm married, pretty happily, but the non parenting side of our relationship could use a bit of attention, nothing major.
I have a sort of ex.. we never actually dated but we slept together on and off in our early twenties and we've always kept in touch, although sometimes with years in between. Our chat of late has gotten explicit. To be fair this is our pattern, we go a few years, have a catch up, chat as friends and then we'll start chatting about past exploits and it'll get flirty and then we cross the line and before you know it, naked snapchats all over the place.
We'd never work in a relationship, so I'm not tempted to run off with him but I'm wondering if maybe a final night together would get him out of my system. Maybe nostalgia is giving me an overly generous impression of him?
We do get on as mates and there are long stretches where we're genuine friends with nothing else popping up, but it never lasts. Mainly because we're very compatible sexually and no one else has quite matched up (we both feel this way).
I'm tempted to just get him out of my system, hope for a disappointment and then maybe we can just get past each other and get on with our lives. To put this frustrating pattern of behaviour into context, it's been going on 17 years (we're in our 30's, both married other people and had kids but he's separated).
At this point I'm expecting to still be texting the idiot from my nursing home.
Has anyone had a similar sort of background 'relationship'?

(fully expecting some 'you're awful' replies, fair play)

Indeed! My Philip Glenister fantasy would probably repulse you!

I'd agree with you 100% if any part of her original post contained any sort of guilt or sadness at what she is doing to her family, but it doesn't! It's all about her and what she needs and wants!

Does you DH have an ex? Maybe he'd like a catch up with her?

Did shagging your fuck buddy any of the other times “get it out of your system”?

Just googled Philip Glenister. We definitely would never fight over men Juddy!

Yes, I can see where you're coming from. There does seem to be no underlying guilt for her actions.

OP! No one thinks it a good idea! Behave yourself and delete all contact. You owe it to your husband. Or, leave him and shag Philip, Russell or whoever else you can get your grubby paws on.

It's a bad idea and surely you know it.

If you do have a conscience OP, forgive yourself for your indiscretions so far, give yourself a slap on the wrist and start playing fair.

I was the DH in a similar situation. I trusted my then DW even when it didn’t all add up. When I found out after many years the betrayal destroyed me and us. It was made worse by the fact that it was so long term. She spoke about it a bit like the OP, as if it’s nothing much, and trust me that doesn’t help at all.