Sexless relationship

[TB2013]

My bf and I have been together almost 10 years. I’m 25 and he is 40. We have one child together and he has 1 from a previous relationship. We had a pretty good sexlife before my son was born maybe having it 5 times a week. When I fell pregnant it wasn’t what my other half wanted but he eventually came round and now he couldn’t imagine life without our son. Not long after our son was born we split up for 10 months and during this time we didn’t have sex at all. We worked things out and got back together but then I noticed how long we were going without having sex. First 6 Weeks then we had sex then nothing for 3 months, even though we live together and share a bed every single night. This has been going on now for the last 5 years and I could count on 2 hands how many times we’ve had sex in 5 years. He hasn’t kissed me for 2 years and it’s been 13 months now since we last had sex. Is it me? Is it something older men go through? Ive mentioned it to him time and time again and it just falls on deaf ears. I’m only 25 and I feel like I have the sex life of an 80 year old. I can’t speak to friends or family about this as I’m too embarrassed. I don’t know what to do or Think about the situation 😔

What does he say when you mention it to him? Did you directly tell him you want more regular sex?

Sorry but he probably doesn't want sex with you whether it is fear of getting pregnant again or whether he has gone off you and is more staying for your child's sake. I think it is really difficult rejuvenating a sex life in your position, but you can try as no relationship really survives properly without

'm afraid if this is it at 25 I would start thinking about cutting your losses

A 30 year old man got with a 15/16 year old??

That's what I was thinking twotoed. I have no idea why a 30 year old man would want to be with a 15 year old girl.
Op have you spoken to him about it, after ten years together I would expect you to be able to have such personal conversations easily.

Maybe you’re getting too old for him now? I don’t mean that to sound awful, just that he must like the very young look.

Guys I’ve changed a few details on this as a lot of my friends are on this and I didn’t want anyone to realise it’s me that’s what I don’t have my proper name on his hahaha. He’s just turned 40 I’m 28 I met him when I was 18 only I would be daft enough to not check how old I was saying I was haha i promise you he wasn’t messing with a 15 year old 😂😂

30 and 18 is still pretty grim.

Even 30 and 18 is a bit grim tbh

Yes truthfully I wonder if you are not getting too old for him now as no its is not normal for a 40 year old

18 and a 30 year old isn’t as bad, it’s two adults.

Please don't let this become a thread about age gaps and what is deemed appropriate. The OP asked about sexless relationships, and that is what she wants to discuss.

But normally age gaps arent a problem but one where the person was young at the beginning and then ages and then it becomes sexless does raise that issue and the fact that at 23 she was on the cusp it is an issue.

The two I suspect may well go hand in hand in this ONE instance

Hey Op. I'm in the same boat as you. But I'm 48 and my husband is 45. We have been together for 9 years. We probably sound ancient to you, but my sex drive has never been higher, and there's no way I'm giving up sex forever at 48. We have sex about once a month, and it's fucking killing me. Not that it's very relevant, but I could pass for 35, and I may jump ship if it doesn't improve. You are only 28, and honestly, I think you may need to get out. x