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Original poster

Savings in DH's name

26 replies

Mamimawr · 05/03/2018 23:17

I would appreciate your thoughts on our financial situation. DH and I have separate accounts and a joint account for bills and mortgage. Money is moved from account to account quite freely and any money to spare is them moved into a savings account. This account is in my husband's name. He says it doesn't matter who's name is on the account and I do believe him when he says that but I really don't like the fact that the only savings I have are in his name.

Would you be happy in my situation? Does it matter since we're married?

OP posts:
Emma198 · 05/03/2018 23:19

Do you already have accounts with that bank? Get your name added. Just now you've got no right to access it.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 05/03/2018 23:21

If it doesn't matter, he can just add your name on can't he?

Justmuddlingalong · 05/03/2018 23:21

If it doesn't matter to him, he won't object to you adding your name to the account. If he does object, you have to ask yourself why.

IPokeBadgers · 05/03/2018 23:22

Nope. Wouldn't be happy. Either open an account in joint names or open a separate account in your name with half of current savings and then 50% going forwards. Life happens, shit happens, I would want free access to cash and cash in my name.

Fluffyears · 05/03/2018 23:26

We went to bank and ensured both names were on our joint savings. We only had single accounts before.

blaaake · 05/03/2018 23:27

Get your name put on it. He's chatting shit

MsVestibule · 05/03/2018 23:27

All the savings we have are in my name. No real reason for that, they're just accounts I opened in my name years ago, possibly before we met. I deal with all of the finances and I doubt DH even knows they're in my name! If it bothered him, I'd just add his name to the account.

I wouldn't feel comfortable in your situation, however secure I felt in my marriage.

BlessYourCottonSocks · 05/03/2018 23:29

I would not be happy. But then I am divorced - and this was the way first DH screwed me over - by keeping everything possible always in his name 'for no real reason...it's fine...'

Once bitten and all that.

Emma198 · 05/03/2018 23:50

The fact is, if you contacted the bank and asked to move money out of that account, they wouldn't let you. Why would you ever accept that? Not even from the perspective of if you separate, but on a day to day life practical level.

mindutopia · 06/03/2018 00:01

I think it only matters if it bothers you and you want your name on it. In our case, all our significant savings and investments are in my dh’s name only. The reason being that I’m not British and the banks actually won’t allow me to put my name on the accounts due to tax reporting (unfortunately complicated by my home country and citizenship). It’s annoying, but at the same time, I feel comfortable with that arrangement. They are still marital assets. There is a solid paper trail showing where the money comes from. Our marriage is solid and I trust my dh to make wise decisions with that money (as in no concerns he’s going to do anything dumb with it without telling me). But the difference is he WOULD gladly put my name on the accounts if it was possible and I wanted it. Is there a reason your dh doesn’t want your name in them? If you do, that might be a red flag for me.

counterpoint · 06/03/2018 00:04

There are many practical reasons why it would be better if the money was in an account with both your names.

Ask him for one good reason why it is beneficial to only have it in his name.

Unless he doesn't work and can get the interest tax free, I can't think he would come up with anything valid.

pallisers · 06/03/2018 00:06

If it doesn't matter tell him you'd like it to be in your name only from now on. See his reaction.

Of course it bloody matters. If there is a reason for tax purposes (like pp) fine but if "it just happened" no way. The savings belong to both of you. Both names should be on the account.

His reaction would leave me wondering too. I actually had this situation with one savings account - it was in dh's name only. It wasn't the bulk of our savings but when I pointed it out to him his reaction was "god you are right, so sorry I'll make sure they change it"

Ariela · 06/03/2018 00:13

Especially if you've no other savings, I'd get your name added. If he died, you'd not have access to the savings, the account would be frozen - you might need the money for funeral expenses for example.

JoJoSM2 · 06/03/2018 00:18

Depending on how much you save, it might not matter, e.g. if you're still under his limit for ISAs for the year.

However, as you are uncomfortable with the situation, just agent your name added to the account.

In our case, I tend to manage our money as DH can be a bit oblivious and frankly disinterested. I then have to resort to nagging if it's about putting money into his ISAs or pension. Other stuff is all in my name. I've offered to go to the bank to add him on but he can't be bothered...

DancingLedge · 06/03/2018 00:27

Cautionary tale.
At the point we split, exDH , who claimed to be poleaxed because he hadn't seen it coming( curiously must have forgotten every marital issue I'd been bringing up) had , just by happenstance, transferred every bit of our joint savings into accounts soley in his name. Just for administrative ease, donchaknow.

So I had no access.
Curious coincidence, that.

LurpakIsTheOnlyButter · 06/03/2018 00:30

Get both names on any joint accounts.
If one of you dies the other will not be able to access funds until probate is granted. Any other way is madness.

Original poster
Mamimawr · 06/03/2018 06:28

Thanks for all yout replies, you've raised a lot of the concerns I have. I'll talk to him about it again.

OP posts:
Brownsocksinabox · 06/03/2018 06:50

Fuck that. If you're contributing to household finances (which you are) - get your name on that shit now!

Better yet, open your own damn savings account and partition your disposable income in there.

Never, ever, ever leave 100% of the financial power to your partner. Get some sovereignty. Doesn't matter how great they are, you need assets of your own.

Original poster
Mamimawr · 06/03/2018 08:40

What makes me even more sad about my situation is that I earned more than him before I went part-time. Even if I decided to look for fulltime work now I'll never earn as much as him.

OP posts:
Joysmum · 06/03/2018 10:37

He says it doesn't matter who's name is on the account

It matters to you and that should be enough for him.

What would happen if he had an accident or was ill? You couldn’t get to it.

So my advice is to tell him this is a problem for you and you either have an account in your name with the amount matched, or you open a joint account.

Adora10 · 06/03/2018 11:39

So if he happens to up and leave you he empties HIS account cos you have no rights with no name there, he should want your name on, to give you security and also to show that you are an equal contributor in the marriage, I really don't understand married couples having separate accounts.

missyB1 · 06/03/2018 11:50

Just as a point of interest, what if OP’s DH refused to add her name to the account? Would there be anything she could do?

pallisers · 06/03/2018 11:51

What makes me even more sad about my situation is that I earned more than him before I went part-time. Even if I decided to look for fulltime work now I'll never earn as much as him.

How do you know you won't earn as much as him? You might eventually.

Let me make a guess ... you went part time because you had children and you do 90 per cent of childcare/admin/house stuff as well as working and now you get the sense that he thinks he is the bigger contributor to the marriage because he earns more?

FizzyGreenWater · 06/03/2018 11:58

Just as a point of interest, what if OP’s DH refused to add her name to the account? Would there be anything she could do?

Nuclear option: move all money currently in joint account to hers. Refuse to contribute any more of her own money to joint account until she has 'saved' precisely half of current savings total into her sole name. Tell H to fucking well transfer money out of the savings to cover 'her half' of expenses while this is happening. It's her money, isn't it? Doesn't matter where it comes from - simply another way to move money around between all these 'joint' accounts, if just giving her rightful access to the savings is not possible for some complex reason.

Presumably this will trigger WW3, so at the same time, starting looking for full time work would also be a good idea, being totally upfront that you're doing to to protect yourself in the case of a split as much as possible, and that you consider all this to have shown you that he's quite simply not on your joint team.

eggncress · 06/03/2018 12:07

I would not be happy that my share of surplus joint funds is going into an account in his name only.
You don’t have access to it so from that viewpoint it matters hugely that it’s in his name only. He says it doesn’t matter. It does!
What if anything happened to him and you needed emergency funds?
Get your name on the account. If he refuses, that would be a red flag for me.