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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Couples help....

5 replies

secretlittleme · 05/03/2018 08:53

MumsNetters, I need your help!

Me and my DP have been together for 3 years and I love him very much. I look at him everyday and feel so lucky. I think "wow" when I see him because I'm so attracted to him (I'll not ramble on but you get the point).

But lately, I just don't want to have sex. There's no specific reason "why". I just don't. I just always feel like it's such a chore and I can't be bothered to be blunt. I'm embarrassed, I AM ONLY 25!

I feel so sorry for him, he seems to think I've gone off him or don't fancy him. I keep turning down his advances and I think he's fed up...

how can I get in the mood again? (Please no intimate stories - just boring old advice to help me. I don't want to ruin my relationship)

OP posts:
Original poster
secretlittleme · 05/03/2018 08:55

We have a 7 month old baby if that makes any difference

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 05/03/2018 09:05

We have a 7 month old baby if that makes any difference

Well yes, that will be the difference! Lack of sleep, leaky sore boobs, change of routine (especially if this is your first), boredom of being on mat leave, feeling touched out, etc etc etc!

Things will get better, be kind to yourself!

Original poster
secretlittleme · 05/03/2018 09:09

I really hope so - I feel like I'm not good enough at the minute so can't really relax. I think this is the main problem :(

OP posts:
cakecakecheese · 05/03/2018 10:53

Hormones can't be helping, maybe go to the doctors but don't put pressure on yourself.

Rutsville · 05/03/2018 16:13

Firstly, don't panic. Smile The important thing is that you still love, respect and care for your DH. This is what really matters.

I suggest you talk to DH to tell him that you are struggling with it at the moment so he knows that you haven't fallen out of love with him and doesn't take it personally.

Having a baby can strip the life-blood from a person so it's little wonder that it affects libido. It does get better. You'll start sleeping more, start having more time to yourselves and life will feel a bit more in control as every month goes by. Take comfort in the fact that it is a phase you are currently going through but won't be like this forever. Try to get as much rest as you can and ask for help from family members if you need it.

I would also go to the doctor - you might be low in iron or deficient in something which is affecting your libido.

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