Boyfriend messaging trans escorts

[Mrstwiddle]

I can’t believe I’m typing this, am in complete shock.

My boyfriend of 3 years has been quite careful with his tablet recently and seemed to be spending a lot of time on his phone.

I obviously was suspicious so took his tablet earlier this evening, and it was open at his email. I scrolled down to see not one, but two messages to different trans people from Craigslist (we’re not in the UK). In each, he’d sent a short message “We should hang out” and I forget the other. The first had replied a couple of weeks ago but he hadn’t replied back. The other was a message he’d literally sent half an hour prior.

I am in total disbelief, he’s never indicated any interest whatsoever, though he suppose he wouldn’t.

I took photos with my tablet of the emails and then woke him up. He denied it first and then just said he was joking around. I told him to leave and this is where I am. In bed, unable to sleep, and my head is spinning. Anyone else been in a similar position/have any advice?

We’re supposed to be getting married later this year but I’ve been having doubts as he has ADHD but won’t see about getting medicated for it.

You aren't overreacting. I understand your position. He is saying it's down to his sense of humour. You probably know deep down that it's not, however how can you prove otherwise? You have this doubt that actually he was messing around and you could be making a big mistake by ending the relationship. I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you that you're not alone and you've got a lot of support here. Trust me when I say it will all come out eventually, it almost always does.

Sorry you're going through this. Wish I could be of more help.

Another piece of advice. Do not stay with someone simply because of shared assets! If you do decide to leave (and that's a big if), you'll sort the house stuff out. It'll be stressful but it is just one of those things that takes time, and heartache, and eventually sorts itself out.

The thing is even if he was just messing around (I mean, he wasn't, you know this), then he would be getting kicks out of mocking trans people. So either he's a cheat or a bully. Get rid.

Let's see, he's ADHD but refuses to get help for it. He messages trans escorts for fun. You feel very invested partially because your social circle is mostly his people so you're isolated and because you've bought property together.

Hmmm. You're getting yourself deeper into something that isn't right. I think you should be very wary of marrying or having children together.

Also, you know how you're too embarrassed to tell your friends in real life - that shows how bad it is, doesn't it? You have to hide how he behaves, because it's that wrong.

PerrieGray, that sums up exactly how I feel :(

And thanks to everyone else, I absolutely know what I should do, whether I have the strength to do that right now I’m not sure, but it really really helps to have people’s advice.