Tips for getting over someone please

[Justmereally]

Split with ‘d’ p today and I feel devastated. I know fundamentally that it’s the right thing to do but I just feel heart broken. He was the first man since my exh who I have let in/ trusted/ loved.

I’m dreading telling DS who genuinely adored him and he is the first man who has ever been involved with his life. (Apart from his Dad).

Please can someone offer advice of how to get over him and feel better. My heart hurts.

Thanks in advance.

Do you have friends or family you can offload to? Have a good cry? And a rant?

Then you need to plan something to look forward to, even if it’s just a nice day trip with your DS. And another and another.

Maybe think about something you’d like to learn or do, something new and fun and interesting.

Hang in there, it’s just the passage of time that’s required, so fill it with as much self-compassion as you can.

I find only time helps massively but it might help you to talk it through with someone, sending and hoping you're feeling more positive soon

Write down the reasons you ended it - and all the big and not so big things that annoyed you about him. Read and reread when you feel you miss him.

Also, children are resilient, and it's much better for them to learn that leaving a relationship because you are not happy in it is better than 'settling' for the wrong person.

Cut contact, get rid of pictures, try to erase them from your life. Plus time.

That’s the only thing that works.

We've all been there. Time is the greatest healer, but in the meantime spend as much time with sympathetic people as you can. Plan things - nights out, holidays etc. To be honest nothing can really change how bad you feel right now, just make it as bearable as possible. Sending you

Come over to the no contact wearing our crowns with dignity thread... We are an awesome non judgemental bunch who are all trying to get over someone x

I made a mix CD of all 'our' songs or ones that reminded me of him/ general sad songs. Listened to it over and over foe a few days, cried, then snapped it in half and binned it. Sounds crazy but it helped me twice this method x

Tallulah that sounds wonderfully cathartic!

Thank you for your kind replies and suggestions. I avoided relationships for many many years after exh as I just didn’t feel strong enough to risk heart break. I know I’m not in the same situation this time...I had a new baby...no money...and was married. This time round there are no practical ties...I just feel crap.

Ugh...so I’ve been awake ALL night. Any tips for getting your mind to switch off? I really can’t afford to be exhausted...works tough at the best of times.

It's a shit feeling ok but it does get better. How long were you together, why did you split up, what were the problems you faced?

We were together about a year and split up because we were basically disfunctional. He had real issues communicating which were a deal breaker for me. I know I deserve more ...my heart just doesn’t seem to agree.

I'm sorry to say that not much helps. I go out daily, play games, read, play with the kids, watch films/TV shows etc but it still really painful. It's been over a year for me now. I think that time will help eventually.

I don't agree with trying to mask the feelings I think you have to acknowledge how much it hurts then you can move on, I'm not saying allow yourself to wallow, just allow yourself to hurt.
I'm ten months post breakup and starting to feel more like myself. That breathtaking physical pain isn't there anymore. Its more like a dull ache and even that's getting less and less.
I have been patient with myself. My relationship was horrible and the break up was a sudden traumatic and violent one so I also have been going to counselling but that aside the pain is the same.
I allow myself to feel down sometimes, those bad days I'm extra kind to myself with cokkinv some healthy food, tackling a task indoors or visiting family and friends.i try to work through the feelings with reinforcing the positives of not being with him.
I write down and 're read how shit it felt. How frustrated and sad I was when we were together, the bad times. I then remind myself over and over the positive aspects of my life and allow myself to imagine the kind of relationship I deserve. The language we use when talking to ourselves is very important, so it's crucial to keep it positive.
Getting a new hobbies, going out, taking up exercise etc are all good advice but not always practical.
I also packed up everything that reminded me of our relationship and put it in a box, promising myself that one day, when I'm over it I will look through it all as a small part of my story but not the most important part.
I'm not sure any of this will help, there's no short fix, no magic wand. But it's very true when they say time is a great healer. I say to myself quite often that 3 years ago I never even knew my ex existed and in three years time he won't matter to my life at all he will just be a memory, another person who doesn't deserve me, my love or to share my life. It does get better op I promise.