I find a naked man's body revolting

[Navrat]

I am sexually attracted to men. I can look at a man and find him objectively handsome and sexually attractive. There's loads of men I fancy from the typical likes of channing Tatum to Ian Sommerhalder. However, I don't enjoy physical intimacy with men. I have never been in love with a man. My attraction starts and ends with thinking someone is hot.

I've dated a few guys, some of whom I have found incredibly physically attractive but I never enjoyed physical intimacy. Kissing makes me want to like and sex to me is actually an upsetting experience. One I've always done as I knew it expected in a long-term relationship.

I find the male body attractive clothed(especially muscular arms) but naked I find it rather gross. Penis' actually makes me feel a bit ill to look at.

I've never been in love. I'm almost 30. I have a child from a long-term relationship in which I never even fancied my boyfriend.

I have read about asexuality but this doesn't fit me as I do find men sexually attractive on a basic level. It's actually physical contact with them I do not enjoy.

There is nothing in my last that could explain this. I've had amazing parents, never been the victim of domestic violence or abuse. Never been cheated on. In fact all the boyfriends I've had have been lovely.

I know this isn't the norm but is this half normal? I'm sure when/if I meet the right man for me, none of this will be relevant anymore.

*puke not like!

Before I met my DH I thought I might be on the asexual side...not as much as you in the sense that I found naked men revolting looking but never really enjoyed sex at all. It's totally different with DH though. Looking back I don't think I was ever really in love with, or attracted to previous boyfriends, and especially not my first husband and father of my DS. The way I felt with them doesn't compare at all. Naked men other than DH don't really do anything for me.

How do you feel about women's bodies?

I’m similar to Fiancée - I’ve never found men particularly attractive naked, even those “hunky” guys you see photos of - not my thing. But when I found someone I really clicked with I loved to see him naked! Even though he’s no different especially to anyone else. I just enjoy looking at him!

Kind of interesting that you have considered asexuality, but not whether or not you might be gay.

Might you be?

Navrat, that was so well put, I feel much the same except Im on my 2nd marriage and have had 3 children. Pretty sure I'm not gay as I don't go a rod fancying women either. I like men, I can appreciate good looks, but since my mid 20s (after my 2nd child) it's like a switch went off.

OP - if this were on Sex board - i’d have asked you if you experinces sexual desires in other forms and had a way to satisfy them in a way that worked for you.

As this is the Relationshp board - i’ll say instead - that you are what you are. And you shouldn’t feel like you need to fulfil some idea of ‘normality’. And shouldn’t force yourself to do anything that doesn’t feel good.
Who cares about definitions.

i’d have asked you if you experinces sexual desires in other forms and had a way to satisfy them in a way that worked for you.

This is what I was going to ask - do you have other urges? Maybe thinking about those would help - what/who do you think about?

Do you find channing tatum attractive naked, or just nobody? What about naked women, can they be attractive? How do you feel about your own body? Do you feel sexual at all, ever? Do you masturbate?

Men are generally a bit gross tbh, but to have never enjoyed a physical experience with one - well if you don't like it you're not missing out. I wonder if there's something you would like.

Everyone fits somewhere on a sexuality spectrum. I'm bisexual and some of what your describe is also my "normal". I'm married to a man and we have a great sex life. I don't need to find the male body physically attractive visually to be turned on by a man and have great sex, iyswim.

I get sexually aroused a lot. Sorry if that's tmi. So it's not that I don't have sexual interest or a sex drive. I do. It's just physical sex with a man really isn't something I would enjoy.

I sent think I'm lesbian. I considered I was at one point and visited a gay bar. I found myself chatting to a woman all evening and exchanged numbers but I never contacted her back as I just don't think I fancy women either!

I find women's bodies more attractive to look at than a man's body. But in terms of a long-term relationship I could never imagine coming home to a woman every night and I've never felt any emotional attraction to a female.

I genuinely think if I were to meet the right man for me I would enjoy all the intimacy. But that's never happened so far.

Navrat

Have you read about demisexuality? Resource information is here:

demisexuality.org/

Demisexuality is a type of asexuality - sexual feeling only really engages when a Demisexual is emotionally bonded with their partner.

I totally empathise with what you describe except that I have felt sexual attraction with a man I have emotionally bonded with. I have had that experience because I was luck to have the opportunity to form that emotional bond - for me it happened at work with a man I got to know in a totally non-sexual way. We worked together so there was no sexual pressure of any kind. It was a working relationship but we became closer and closer and then one day it was like I was in love with a strong sexual attraction.

Generally I know exactly what you mean - without that I find men repulsive. The idea of a man ejaculating or even just naked with an errection is grotesque unless it is someone you are powerfully attracted to.

The reason I am posting is because unless I had had this experience of being allowed to emotionally bond, I would have lived my whole life thinking I was odd, different and completely asexual. I can well imagine that happening because in the modern dating world there is an expectation that women will sleep with a man relatively quickly - and I would never have been interested in that - and would never have been able to spend that amount of time with someone to make an emotional connection. I was lucky.

This may not be you at all but it is worth you having a look at the linked resource above.

If it does resonate with you, then if you want a partner you can be attracted to, I suggest putting yourself in situations when you get to know people well over time - so year long courses with classes once a week or regular volunteering with the same men who attend regularly.

Cross - post with your last post.

From your posts, you sound definitely heterosexual to me and I identify with a lot of your last post too.

check out that link demisexuality.org/

Think you haven't met a man with the right chemistry. Then you like everything.

Demi sexuality does seem to fit me actually.

That doesn't surprise me Navrat because I could have written what you wrote.

It is hard dealing with it 2018 because of this social pressure to have sex almost straight away. It's helpful though to know what the reasons for your feelings are - even if because it's knowing you aren't alone and you can actually have great sex with someone you are attracted to. It is possible.

No real golden bullet suggestions though - it's hard to deal with practically - other than what I said above - give yourself a break and put yourself in situations where you can develop long term friendships with men.