Advice needed *trigger warning* historical abuse and the future. What should my friend do?

[StickyPlum77]

Posting on behalf of a friend.

My friend's Mother was horrificly abusive toward her as a child and remains to abuse her as an adult whenever she can.

My friend's Brother is now in a LTR and has a baby.

Friend's Mother dislikes this Brother's partner and Mother and has threatened to make allegations to social services to have the baby removed and put in her custody.
Friend is terrified for her DN's wellbeing at the hands of her Mother who is abusive.

My gut reaction is, SS would probably see baby is cared for and loved and drop it however Mother has a history of being conniving and 'clever' and has managed to cause serious issues for and between people before and also has people who are scared of her who will back her up, so it is a worry for my friend.

My friend is currently toying with reporting her Mother for historical abuse anyway, my friend has posted before abou this, and may come onto this thread. Shes' wondering whether to report on the back of this, to protect the baby.

Also until this point friend's brother has not wanted to fall out with their Mum and has said he would deny what happened if friend was to report her for the historical abuse but now threatened by her, says he will support her claims if she does report.
Could anyone advise what my friend should do?

Shes already told the NSPCC about her Mother's abuse but hasn't tried to report it officially yet.
I will find a link to her previous thread. Hope this all makes sense.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3157563-Iv-just-opened-up-to-a-family-member-about-past-abuse-I-suffered

My friend's previous thread.

Hi OP, we're going to move this over to Relationships for you now.

Thank you

Bump

(probably) last bump. :)

Does she feel strong enough to start the process of so yes she should.

I don't think she feels ready given she still lives near her Mother and is unable to move (studying, caring for a relative) yet. She is scared of the process, doesn't know enough about what will/may happen. I've been trying to help, have spoken to a lawyer friend who's said there may not be proof beyond reasonable doubt because so many NHS records have been lost (her Mother put her in hospital a lot as a child but injuries blamed on other things) for example. She thinks her Mother may get away with it it being so logn ago and other family members taking her side. Thank you for your reply.

I think in this situation it is highly unlikely that her claims would get anywhere - and I suspect if she did start it she could speak to Social Services then. So I would take that out of the situation.

So it should be done IF and when she feels ready

Sorry Quartz I'm confused-you think her claims against her Mother wouldn't get her anywhere, period, or, her claims in the situation with her Nephew wouldn't?

The mothers claims in the situation with the Nephew are unlikely to get very far and if they did she could certainly be called as a witness against her then (and indeed her claims would be listened to).

So my recommendation is that she does it when/if she feels ready rather than as a response to this as it is not likely to get very far

I'm with you, that makes sense . Thank you. So she should maybe contact SS regarding the nephew? Or just wait and see if her mother follows the threats through?

Apparently shes spoken to some people in the know and the chance of getting a conviction against her mother is basically zero