Dh ex selling his stuff....

[echo46]

Anyone been in this situation? Dh can't be bothered with the argument but he's massively pissed off.

He's been asking for his Xbox back for over 3 years now. Everytime he gets told she will 'dig it out' and contact him back but never does.

A friend suggested trying to find out if she had sold it - by looking through fb, there is a way to do it - and he found out she told it ages ago for £275. About 2.5 years ago

It wouldn't of been worth much now but it was the principle for dh, it was his and he wanted it back. It had absolutely loads of accessories and games.

I should point out, he asked for it back after the first day of them splitting up and still has texts as evidence. Even after she had sold it, she still maintained she had it.

Seems very daft to get police involved....wwyd? I think I'd just let it go as not worth getting police involved but I understand completely why dh is so angry.

She laughed at him when he said he wanted paying for it....she's a delightful person lol

He will let it go I think but it has made his blood boil......he just wants to know if anyone's been in this situation as he does have all the evidence and screenshots that she sold it.....but is it really worth it? It's the principle dh says, more than anything.

'before any all for women posters ask).' Eh

Maybe he thought about it as he wants to give it to your dc.

Good idea to let it go.

I think maybe just remind him that he has the memories still and to treat it as though it was destroyed in a fire and not give her the headspace any more. If she did do it to be cruel then she’s had three years of pleasure from him and he shouldn’t give her any more.

I do hope he’s telling you the truth because three years and still in contact with his ex would be worrying me. If it were about the memories, it’s odd that he never told you before and is entirely inconsistent with him asking her for the money she made from selling it.

Look at it like this, there is quite possibly someone else enjoying the xBox who would not have been able to get one otherwise and they are building social connections with their friends. The ex has build up good karma for your DH, and he can build up more by building his new life with you and your DS and forgetting about her.

@Angelf1sh oh he's absolutely telling the truth, there's nothing going on with them lol. We are always open with each other's phone, he has nothing to hide. He doesn't even have her number anymore, all contact his been on fb and she's in quite a serious relationship from the looks of it. Dh even had a message of apology off her bf as he wasn't that impressed with her - apparently she lied to him and said the Xbox was her brothers and he wanted her to sell it and she gave him the money. Load of bollocks.

As for why he didn't get it there and then, he walked out with nothing when he found out she cheated. Literally just his phone. Went to stay with a mate I think. She then moved out the same/next day without his knowledge. He went back to get his stuff when he had calmed down and ready to face her and everything was gone apart from his clothes. Everything was in his name so he had to pay the last months rent, bills etc but he did get the deposit back.

I really don't understand why this bothers you so much. It is an x box that belongs to someone else and therefore is absolutely none of your business. Whatever happened whoever cheated on who is irrelevant to a lump of plastic that is gone. Look forward and move on with your lives. Perhaps she did it to be spiteful, perhaps she felt he owed her the money anyway who knows? And stop writing 'lol' after every sentence it's really annoying.

It's all very ....he said, she said, drip, Fb, stories emerging, much drama....much 'lol'

Glad you need 'no more replies' and it's all sorted.

If he goes onto the CEX website he can probably find a lot of the old games and even an old console for not that much. Would that help him feel better about it?

They are easy to replace if it’s that important. He can have mine.

Wow I wonder if some of the pp on here have ever had anyone close die? To want to keep a momento of that person/ good times together is obviously completely normal. I would tell the story of why the Xbox was so important to her if she doesn't already know and ask who she sold it to (could put it the story on fb!) then if anyone comes back with 'she sold it to me' then you could probably get it back for a small amount. If not, you've done all you can and the effort trying to retrieve it will hopefully be a bit of consolation of the importance of the friend.

Well I certainly have. I really don't get the impression from the OP that this is the main motivation particularly with all the 'lolling'.

It’s the principle of it. It’s clearly not JUST the XBox he lost but even if it was, what gives her the right to take everything and profit from it too?

I’m not surprised the new bf “isn’t impressed.” I wouldn’t be impressed to find out my DP was willing to steal and then lie about it either. She’s a thief. Doesn’t matter what the value of the items were at the time or what they’ve now depreciated to.

The ex was wrong.
I think m though I would advise him to let it go, then block all contact with her.

I agree it's spiteful

But it’s been over three years now! There’s got to be a stage where you write it off.

If he'd really wanted it back, he should have forced the issue earlier - by which I mean within the first 6 months.

It's not that difficult to write a formal letter saying "this is my property. you are on notice that unless I have it back by x date I will instruct a laywer and take the matter to the small claims court".

3 years suggests - that whatever you say about sentimental value - it didn't really bother him that much.

I'd just let it go. If he isn't minded to, he could bring proceedings in the small claims court but he would have to show that it was purely his property (ie. he bought it with his own money or it was a gift) rather than a joint family assets. Tbh legal proceedings are stressful and time consuming and it probably isn't worth it for something of such small value - really the reason you/he'd be doing it is to "teach her a lesson". Life is too short.

Some posters will be doing the ‘all for women’ thing. Most posters will be like me; had shitty exes, that did shit stuff, left us in debt, took our stuff etc and we know that it’s not healthy to have not let go three years later and be banging on about ‘the principle’ of it all day.

He is married to someone else, you would think that would mean he’d have put his ex issues to bed long ago.

"For the principle of it" is almost never a good justification for anything related to personal r'ships

And most of us tend to mourn our lost loved ones through means other than games consoles.

Its really out of order, but maybe just be grateful they had no DCs together and move on.

Does he have a picture of the Xbox that he could super-impose onto a pic of him and his friend?