Pregnant and he's not come near me since the night the baby was conceived

[LonliestMarriageOnEarth]

That says it all really. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and he won't come near me, not even a show of affection let alone sex. I had a stressful night last night - got snowed in at a relatives and ended up with a dc in a&e I've not slept.

I got home eventually around lunch time today exhausted and he's not said a word to me. Left me to deal with the kids and spent the day on the consoles. I want to leave but can't manage a newborn and the others on my own. He knows this.

The non talking is standard for him im so so lonely.

Do you actually know him?

Not any more, no. He isn't someone I would actively choose to be with if I'd met him as he is now.

That's doesn't sound like a relationship. Was he cold to you before you conceived?

How long have you been together?

If he is so little help to you now why would you think you couldn't manage without him with a newborn?

He's been getting colder over the years but last 12 months have taken the piss. Silly things like thoughtless birthday and Christmas gifts (cheap smellies with ingredients in he knows I'm allergic to for instance). He has depression and is seeking counselling for it but he seems to be growing ever more resentful towards me and seems to be deliberately doing things to find where my breaking point is.

Examples: buying a console when we needed to spend on car repairs, refusing to clear out the spare room so I can decorate it as a nursery saying he needs it as "his" time out space, he will bend over backwards to help relatives in hospital but if I or the kids end up in he will actively avoid helping us get there or visiting or even allowing recovery time once home.

Like I say. I need to leave.

Been together over a decade

Did he suddenly shift from the most amazing partner before you conceived to this? Or has he always been pretty shit? Is this his first child or are your other DC his?
Have you spoken about any of this with him?
With our first DC DH was very quiet and withdrawed from me for the first few months of pregnancy which was totally out of character for him but we talked through it and by the end of pregnancy and birth he was back to normal.

Sounds to me like you’re already on your own with the kids chick. Best thing for your sanity is to leave him, some people will never change and he will only get worse when a new baby (and a hell of a lot more work) comes. You’re already looking after the kids and growing his baby inside your tummy. You can do this alone and with a lot less stress and worry without him. No man is worth feeling like that over. What’s he going to be like when you’re in labour? Not helping you organise the other kids, helping you get to hospital? Holding your hand when you most need him because he probably won’t be. You don’t need this in your life right now.:.. or ever. Xxxxx

As someone else said if you do it all alone anyway why can't you cope with them without being in a relationship with him? If he's as useless as you say that makes no sense.

Sorry x post, you dont need to answer any of my questions OP. He doesnt sound like the sort of person I would want to be having a child with and if he doesnt buck up his ideas pretty quickly I would be leaving too.

Im sorry I'd end it

Did he want this baby?

Honestly..if he couldn't show any concern after you went to hospital...the relationship is dead.

Kick him out. You'll be better off.

Gosh, I think you have to tell him to leave

He sounds like a prick. If I had to take a child to a& W and he hadn’t even asked me about it after, I think I’d never speak to him again. If he doesn’t give a shit about your current kids, it’s not going to change with the new one. I’d get rid of him and have one less baby to look after.

*a&e!