Advice please: is this this guy just not into me?

[Chillyegg]

So very nice ,very beautiful man at gym (used to be my personal trainer) . I ask him out for coffee after months of flirting and him lurking over my social media. Anyway we had a last minute coffee at mine last night after he finished work at the gym so he ended up coming to mine very late at 9:45pm.
We didn’t sleep together. We had a very nice chat over hot ribenas and teas he was very smiley and sweet and seemed very nervous and then he had to go because he had work early today. He text this morning saying “last night was fun see you soon” and I text back “yep was fun we should do something soon”. No reply... should I just leave it! I will obviously not message untill he does again! What should I do?

Sorry this will sound harsh, but either you're not his type or he's gay. You're worth a man who's enthusiastic! Look elsewhere

Ouch but duly noted

He is at work. I would chill out and just wait and see what happens.

It's hard to know really.
I think you'll know depending on what he does/says next.

What should you do? Nothing. The ball is in his court. It's impossible to tell if he likes you or not from the little we have to go on.

Maybe he's just been busy today and hasn't had a chance to reply. Maybe he's thinking of a witty response. Maybe he won't ever reply. Any of these scenarios could be right - but if it were me - I'd just wait and see what he does.

Hmm i'd be careful over this one. He does sound detatched.

How long did he stay, what did you talk about?

Wow Not, talk about jumping to conclusions

OP, I wouldn't worry at this stage. if he's at work, maybe he's just not had chance to respond, and wants to do so when he has time to put a thoughtful reply together.

Just leave it. He may contact he may not.

Leave it and see if he contacts you, it’s too early to know for sure because his job would make it hard to just text back if he’s with a client but I’d err on the not into you side of things if I’m honest. Definitely don’t say anything else before he does.

Yeeeeah I think he’s just super nice and came round cus he’s just a nice guy. We talked about music family and work etc normal stuff had a laugh. He only split up with his long term partner maybe 3 months ago .... I write all this down and think I should just leave it

You sent him the last message, showing you were open to meeting him again, so leave it there for now and just see what happens.

You'll see him at the gym anyway.

It doesn't sound like he's keen as mustard... so he's either playing the treat em mean game, or he's not interested

Anyway we had a last minute coffee at mine last night after he finished work at the gym so he ended up coming to mine very late at 9:45pm.

Sorry but I don't think he is interested. "a last minute coffee" at yours (not even going out for a coffee) at 9.45pm at night is not what says interested at all. Generally if a man was interested he'd want to take you out somewhere - even if just for a coffee or a drink. He could have suggested that.

Round to yours at 9.45pm at night is so laid back casual - it's no effort on his part at all - he didn't even do the asking.

I would leave it alone and not chase him otherwise you risk making a fool of yourself and will have to change gyms!

I went on a date 9 years ago, was really smitten. Didn’t hear from him all day the following day. He eventually text me on the evening. I thought he wasn’t interested. He’s now my dh and expecting our first baby.
Give him a chance. He maybe has been busy at work. if you’ve not heard in a few days then don’t bother.

Wait and see. That's all I got.

He text you first which I would see as a good sign.

My now dh was a bit slow to make contact after our first date, think it took about 2 days, now says he agonised a bit about what to say

Hopefully he will text today.

If he doesn't text you before you next see him in the gym, and he doesn't come over to say hello, then it doesn't look good. But don't draw conclusions yet!

He could just be shy but you have made it clear you are interested so leave it to him now.

It’s so complicated isn’t it?

I have one male friend who would tell me ‘Well that message doesn’t warrant a reply’ whereas another friend woukd say that no answer is your answer.

If he wants to contact you OP, he will.

Nine times out of ten, if you have to ask whether someone is into you, the answer is they're not.

Dunno, I wouldn't reply to that message until I actually wanted to arrange something.....there's not really much to say in response is there?

I'm a crap texter though!

Actually if he only split from a LTR 3 months ago then maybe you ARE his type but he's not ready to date again, and coming round to yours made him realise that.

I've been Rebound Girl a couple of times and it's not nice.

Sorry but it's really not complicated; stop chasing the man; you've made your feeling clear, you basically asked him out, he turned up, whether it was out of politeness or not, you will soon find out as ball is in his court, sorry but you sound pretty desperate, back off, the guy has a brain, you don't need to rail road him into anything!

Blimey you're not in Sussex are you? Sound like my recent ex!!!

Biggest red flag is someone who's recently come out of a relationship. 3 months is nothing. Stay away.

Also hes a PT - and as I work in that field and know many guy friends who are PT's and who I have had things with - I can say, they are NEVER short of attention. He will have a LOT of offers.