Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Accidentally forwarding pictures

18 replies

PrimalLady · 03/03/2018 12:34

As I was getting ready for bed last night, my ex sent me a photo. Of a woman in underwear. I rang him and got a load of abuse when I said I don't want that sort of crap and he'd made me uncomfortable. He told me to go and get comfortable on [my new guy] s dick.

I don't really care. But he claims it was an accident.

I feel weird. I feel like it was meant to make a point and I think I'd be devastated if someone sent my pictures to anyone nevermind my ex to make them jealous.

I'm not planning on doing anything. But im not being crazy think he did this to make a point? I've blocked him and I'm a bit gutted as we had been doing well at being friendly.

OP posts:
Emma198 · 03/03/2018 12:35

Clearly clearly trying to make you jealous. What a child. Put the pic through a reverse picture search on Google I wouldn't be surprised if he'd got it on the internet. You're well rid.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 03/03/2018 12:36

Isn't it really difficult to send something to the wrong number if you have a conversation style text message system?

And wouldn't a normal response be to apologise and feel mortified, rather than to insult?

Do you have children together?

PrimalLady · 03/03/2018 12:38

When I say I don't care I mean I don't care of he has met someone. I don't pry or ask about his personal life or anything.

But I do care about this kind of shit obviously. Mainly because I now feel awkward as shit having seen a picture that was, I'm assuming, sent in confidence.

I feel dirty and used for this woman. I have massive empathy issues so I'm aware this may not be normal. It's either non existent or I have an abnormal amount of empathy.

I don't know. I fucking hate people.

OP posts:
MayFayner · 03/03/2018 12:38

Unless you have DC together I would just block him and move on. He's obviously jealous of your new bf so being friends won't work.

PrimalLady · 03/03/2018 12:40

Mybrilliantdisguise - yes we do.

It was on messenger. You have to press quite a few buttons and I wouldn't be at the top of his list on that because we don't message all the time.

OP posts:
LimonViola · 03/03/2018 12:41

Obviously sent to make a point.

Shouldn't have rang him and engaged, he got exactly what he wanted.

PrimalLady · 03/03/2018 12:45

I've blocked him on messenger. He can text me for anything g to do with the kids but he can't send pics that way and of he did go to the effort to I'd know it was intentional as he'd have to set it up and why bother with all the free apps with picture messages.

He has been a total arse about the guy I'm seeing. He makes out I cheated on him (I didn't.) and made a big deal of me not having him around the kids. I don't but I ended up not wanting to leave the house with the kids because of his attitude incase I bumped into new guy and his kids.

We've been really respectful. I don't turn up covered in marks, we don't parade around. My new guy has supported me through a lot. Anorexia recovery and has helped me with my mental health a lot. We are very private about things.

OP posts:
PrimalLady · 03/03/2018 12:46

Limon I know. I know. I was so annoyed with myself as that was my first thought as soon as i got off the phone.

OP posts:
Cricrichan · 03/03/2018 13:16

Definitely sent it to you deliberately. Who else was he supposed to be sending underwear pictures to? I'd feel really sorry for the girlfriend but at the same time wouldn't engage.

PrimalLady · 03/03/2018 14:22

I'm playing head games apparently. This is laughable. I don't know why I let shit bother me.

He can get fucked. I might take his initial advice re getting comfortable. Fucking idiot.

OP posts:
MrMagnoliasBoot · 03/03/2018 14:26

Isn't it illegal now to send pictures like that without the person's consent? Would this fall under the revenge porn law?

PrimalLady · 03/03/2018 16:29

I dont know but I have no intention of doing anything. You lot have confirmed I'm not mad for thinking it wasn't an accident. I haven't called him a liar because even if it were an accident, I'm most bothered by him Insisting I'm unreasonable for thinking otherwise, especially after some of his behaviour since our split.

He was never abusive in the relationship, we simply weren't compatible anymore and became toxic on both parts due to pressure. I've done a lot of work to better myself as I've recognised my own shortcomings.

But he has just consistently tried to punish me for it since.

The weekend we split was triggered by him getting angry because he brought some keys home from his new job and needed to take them back but our car was off the road. He wanted me to ask if my friends fella would drive him. But they'd had a baby less than 24 hours before so I refused to ask. He hadn't seen me for four days and he was kicking off like anything at me over it. Which he denied. I never moaned at him for having to spend fifty quid on a taxi to take them back. And when he came back got annoyed because his "sorry about earlier" didn't immediately make things ok. I decided to end it then. But I was going to do it after ds's birthday. But on the day he started an argument accusing me if killing one if his fish because I didn't feed them fir one day. Which I never agreed to do in the first place and in fact explicitly told him I would have nothing to do with and didn't feel comfortable being responsible for. I looked after two huskys as it was that he wanted. One is mine now though. The dog chose me lol.

And it all came out and I ended it.

He's accused me of leaving him to be with the guy I'm seeing now. I didn't do that. I have months of messages where I'd tried to end things for similar reasons as I did that day. That day I just meant it because it was killing me. I was smoking weed to keep my anxiety symptoms at bay which only makes the anxiety worse when you stop.

I stopped smoking it over night when I left the house. It'd not bothered me once and I can sleep without it or any medication. I haven't been able to do that for a long time.

Its like he wants to punish me but I ended it so that both of us could be better people. He can't spend his life with someone he doesn't understand and I don't blame him for that but I'm made out to be some sort of monster.

I'm a better person and a better parent than I was towards the end with him. And so is he. I don't get why he does shit to sabotage that.

I left the house etc. I've not once tried to make this any more difficult than it needs to be yet I'm told I'm the trouble causer all the time.

OP posts:
Arealhumanbeing · 03/03/2018 21:31

You don’t turn up ‘covered in marks’?

What do you mean?

PrimalLady · 04/03/2018 12:25

From rough sex. He basically tells it to people like I was turning up covered in marks on my neck from biting etc and I never have. I don't understand how he's twisted things so much in his head. He flat out denies things I know happened and makes out other things happened differently. And if I point out that that's gaslighting he tells me I have an answer for everything.

OP posts:
user1499333856 · 06/03/2018 22:22

He's a waste of space. Don't give him attention, it just encourages more bollocks.

Best response is no response. They hate it.

Joysmum · 06/03/2018 22:55

FInd our who she is and tell her he’s sharing pictures of her. Angry

Earthmover · 07/03/2018 03:26

He's the first guy I've heard of that sends pics of his current squeeze to his current squeeze.
Will she not already have it?
Straight off Google images. Sad.

YvonneGoolagongsDugongDoug · 07/03/2018 07:24

The behaviour you are experiencing from him is exactly the behaviour we are getting from a family member over a rift. Obfuscation, muddied waters, small lies and whoppers, re-writing history and telling anyone that will listen a sanitised version that makes that family member look heroic.

We have backed off and gone quiet. An asshole behaves like an asshole and we are assuming that person will continue to behave like an asshole with others and over time there will be that realisation from others.

The mistake you made was biting the bait. Don't bite. Leave it float. You know the truth and ultimately that's all you need and in addition, by going quiet these types often escalate. Eventually they get enough rope to hang themselves.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page