Is this my lot or do I get out there? 🤷‍♀️

[Aminuts23]

I’m 43, single and in the main happy. I’ve had a long term relationship that I ended 3 years ago. I had another relationship of a year or so that ended crappily about 6 months ago. I’ve no kids, a good career, close family and friends and as I said I am happy.
I do keep thinking though is this it for me? Am I destined to be old main spinster aunt? Do I need to get a cat? The idea of meeting someone is nice in a way but I also think I’d resent the imposition on my time and my life. I’ve been OLD but when I match and start getting messages I delete my profile because I realise I can’t be bothered with it (let alone weeding out the nutters). I’m very conscious that I shouldn’t get stuck in a rut but as I said I do go out and I am sociable. I always imagined I’d have a family and I’m sad that didn’t happen for me (my arsehole ex refused fertility treatment or adoption and I left him when I was 40).
I’m ranting really. Do I just forget trying to meet someone? Not that I’m making much of an effort. I’m mulling over the idea of adoption as a single person but I’m scared about that. I am generally fine but the idea that this is it for me is a scary one? WWYD?

Why don't you look into the adoption process and get some information? That way you can make an informed decision on whether it's the right thing for you?

You may decide you are happier on your own- or you may decide you have enough to give a young person

Thank you. Yes I might look into it. I’m concerned I’m too old. Also I’m looking to move house later in the year so I need to get that done first I imagine. I also worry how I’d cope on my own but I know lots of people do of course.

Plenty of mothers have babies over 40 - your age won't be a factor

I think that you'd be happier if you start to get informed and make a decision based on trying rather than defeatist - wouldn't worry about moving - start looking

My friend is having her first baby on her own after fertility treatment aged 43. If it's what you want, it may not be too late. Certainly not too late for adoption.

It's not too late to have children or to meet someone. Especially as you seem to be coming from quite a happy stable place. If adoption appeals to you then go for it. Or even fostering but it will take up more time than any woukd be partner. Good luck whatever you decide. 43 isn't old.

If you want a child you probably still could now. Would you consider a sperm donor?

I’d just like to offer that lots of women feel like this at your age, whether they have children or not.

@chestylarue52 I agree. I find early 40's a bit "no mans land". It's a weird one. I'm really not where I think I should be.

Ami - get the house move done and look into adoption, don't give up on finding someone but don't let it become the focus of your life which I think it can whilst doing OLD.

Assessment for both fostering and adoption takes a considerable time so make some enquiries and, if it's seems right, get the ball rolling. You don't need to go ahead if you realise it's not for you.

And be realistic, you are not going to be able to adopt a baby but there are plenty of older, troubled children who need a loving home.