Present for vile exes 50th .... or not?

[user1467480231]

I despise my ex and he loathes me, however it's his 50th soon and I wondered if I should get a present for him from the kids? He dumped us for a new woman (who he has now broken up with and also left her with their newborn), so he's a lonely old fucker with no friends.
What to do? Be nice or treat him how he's treated the rest of us?

My ex and I both had big birthdays in the months following our split.

He bought me a stapler in the shape of a skull. Dick.

I bought him tickets for him and the kids to see a comedian he likes. He was slightly less bitter and twisted for a bit (that didn't last long though!) and the kids were happy planning the surprise for him and seeing that Mum and Dad could still be civilised. I think it's better to be nice rather than sinking to his level.

P.S. Buy him a tool, he sounds like one ! 😂

Does he remember his childrens bdays / Xmas? Does he pay maintenance? See the kids regularly? Does he get presents for you from kids for your bday? If they answer is no, then don't bother. If he does then yes

A card with 50 reasons he is a twat written inside.

if the kids want to then yes.
if they dont mention it then no.
would he do the same for you?

How old are the DC?

I think you need to ensure they are doing something appropriate. And even though he's an arse, he's still the co-parent so I think you should send a card.. you need to model your standards to your DC, who will probably end up knowing who's done what.

Why can’t posters return to threads.

If the kids are young then I'd probably help them get something token to mark the occasion
but I am nicer than my X who helped my DC get naff all for my big birthday

Thanks for you all your replies !! Great advice and sorry @crispbutty but I was at work all day and am a single mum of an autistic child so don't manage to come online a lot.

Children are teens but one is autistic so wouldn't be able to head out to the shops alone.

I think I'll just forget the idea of being nice. He's abandoned his new baby too so really, in all honestly, he deserves to sit alone on his 50th and contemplate what an arse he has been instead of being given any presents !

I would. And have. We always post a card for ex. Because I'm teaching my son to be a better man than his dad was. I want him to have good values and principles. Not a you do this for me so I'll do it for you mentality.

But you've gotta decide what's best for you and your family.

Hey read your last message again. We’re all saying THE KIDS might feel upset if they don’t do anything. Your focus is all on him and what you feel he derserves. If you genuinely feel that the kids won’t care then whatever but if they will then don’t let your feelings for him effect what’s right for them

Your ex sounds like a pillock.

Don't waste your time and money!

I wouldn’t bother unless your teens actively want to and require your assistance. Then it’s doing it for them not him if that makes sense.

He bought me a stapler in the shape of a skull. Dick.

oh dear - I would love that as a present.

No. I wouldn't bother. Serves the OW right though.

I second the idea of them making some monstrosity out of your recycling. With loads of glitter.

Especially if they are teens.

But then, I'm not always very mature.

Agree with getting the kids to make something very, very glittery.

Some great ideas! Like the recycling glitter one.

I wouldn't.
If your (non-autistic) teen wants to then they can do so. From them. Why would you be buying him anything ?