Need some advice newish relationship

[mumofthreesmallmen3]

Hi

I've been seeing a guy for around 6 months after splitting from my long term ex and dad of my children. Weve kind of been up and down started as mainly sex but now we've both said we want more and exchanged love yous etc.

We had a row earlier this week about how much we are seeing each other.. I want more than he does and he does most of the travelling to me. Since the argument 3 days ago we haven't spoke.. I don't know wether to contact him or not.

I feel like maybe I shouldn't as I'm not happy with one time per week and would like more and we have discussed it quite a few times, he always says he will come more but doesn't last for long. So if I'm not happy maybe I should look elsewhere? He has admitted he is quite stubborn in the past but would normally be in contact by now. I do miss him but if he is not going to offer what I want then what is point?

Can you travel to him a bit more?

It's probably the him travelling to you all the time which bothers him. How often do you go to his?

No advice but I can sympathise. I've ended a few budding relationships because of this issue. How can you have a relationship when you see each other once a week? Not me. So, maybe not worth contacting him if he is stubborn sounds unlikely to change. Sorry not much help.

OP - you sound somewhat transactional about this - ‘if he can’t offer me what I want, should i look elsewhere’ - can’t get it out of my head....

And you told that man you loved him?
If it was true - why are you treating this as a FWB service contract rather than trying to find a solution that can work for the both of you?

Why cant you do some of the travelling. Tbh i would be pissed off if i was expected to do all tbe travelling and then told it wasnt enough.

I do get that not seeing eachother much is a pain. But if you are the one pushing to eachother more, what can you do about it?

You want more than he does and he's stubborn. Plenty more fish in the sea

I was going to agree with other posters and say maybe it's the travelling to see you all the time that bothers him but I noticed it's only once a week.
That wouldn't be enough for me. I don't think he wants to commit to you and is not invested in you as you are him. I would look for someone who wants the same things.

Maybe you’ll need to accept that you’re different. Once a week would be enough for some, others need more. If it’s not right for you though, you need to do something

I can't really as I have the children most of the time so he comes to me, I get one night off every 2 weeks and we will do something then and I would travel to him then but he's never seemed fussed about driving to me it's not a long drive.
I just think once a week is not enough anymore and he agrees but then it never happens! So I'm not sure wether to end things and try and find someone who wants something a bit more serious than that. By time I see him again I feel so distant lol we do speak in between but it's not the same! Ahh I don't know I just feel like I am putting in more effort I guess.

How can you be putting in more effort when he is coming to you. I think that when you have children, jobs, houses to maintain once a week is fine, especially at such an early stage. 6 months is not very long really, especially when your older and have other things going on. I would also assume that given what you've explained your children are there when he comes to you, could it be that he doesn't really want to spend much more time at yours while the children are there? I would feel that way too 6 months in.
I have a pet and work 9 to 5 by the time I get in from work, sort my stuff out for the next day, do a few bits indoors and get dinner sorted I couldn't think of anything worse than going back out to spend the evening at someone else's house more than once a week. I think as time goes on more time together usually progresses organically, you can't rush these things.
But op you want more (that's fine) but it sounds like he cant/doesn't want to give that right now (also fine) so maybe you're just not compatible, or at different stages. If you agree with this then maybe it's best it ends now.

I think you should offer to get a babysitter once a week and go it together jutsvrhe two of you.
You go and pick him up and do the driving.
He probably feels taken for granted.
I see my boyfriend every other weekend as it’s long distance - I would like more but it’s not possible right now. But we talk about it.