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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Moody boyfriend

5 replies

sarah1601 · 01/03/2018 20:02

This will be long... So me and my boyfriend have been together 3 years and i’m 4 months pregnant with our first child together (we both have children from previous relationships) but lately my boyfriends behaviour is starting to make me not even excited about the baby. He has started doing lots of overtime at work and down to me being an agency carer part time and being pregnant I have not been offered any work, I think he resents me for not working. He is always calling me lazy and no matter what I do it’s not good enough for him. I do all the shopping and cook all the meals always make sure he has food to take to work the next day, do all the washing, clean the house, the past few weeks I’ve even been doing big jobs of sorting out and deep cleaning ready for the baby. Today i went into town but I’ve been feeling really dizzy in my pregnancy and I just turned around and came home again knowing he was going to town after work anyway and could pick something for dinner, I still picked him up something for lunch as I knew he would forget and not been able to go food shopping properly his week. So he got home and all as he is done is moan about it saying it’s my job and why couldn’t I pick something up for dinner, we’ve had a full blown row about it and he’s now sitting in the bedroom not talking to me. This sort of thing occurs most days. He’s been calling me lazy even though I sort everything in the house out and love going to work I just can’t get any work right now! He is a moody person anyway but this has been going on for a few weeks now, I’m actually dread him coming home. I’ve told him to not accept the over time even for a week but he keeps doing it and then having 4 hours sleep and getting up for work. What can I do to get him to cheer up? I’ve tried doing everything he moans about but he just Comes up with something new everyday and it’s really starting to get to me now! Is it actually me me? I don’t know!

OP posts:
Anonagain2017 · 01/03/2018 21:17

Has he only started behaving like this since you became pregnant and stopped working?
Sorry but its not you, its HIM. You are pregnant and doing all the household chores yet he calls you lazy?? do you honestly think that is acceptable?
My ex used to resent me not working and then resented my part-time hours after our 1st ds was born. He pressured me into increasing my hours, even though he earned a really good salary. He would also criticise the state of the house (even though it was fine). He was also very moody.
He got worse and we are no longer together. Sorry but your dp sounds the same and I can't see him changing. I think you need to have a serious chat with him.

sarah1601 · 01/03/2018 21:32

That’s exactly what his like calls me lazy but the house is tidy, started working part time and it still wasn’t good enough exactly the same! The fact he’s gone to sleep at 8pm hopefully he will be in a better mood tomorrow otherwise there will be no getting through to him about it he has an answer for everything!

OP posts:
MistressDeeCee · 01/03/2018 23:49

He's a moody bully tell him if he can't be civil and have some manners, then shut up. However I don't think you have a future with this man - he's no respect for you. He openly calls you lazy. & you're pregnant this should be a happy expectant time for you both. You could jump through hoops, he won't be happy. & I think you will find he will check out of this relationship. Sorry. You'll probably get on better with life if he does ship out, he sounds like a massive pain in the butt

hellsbellsmelons · 02/03/2018 12:10

He's an abusive bully.
Why are you putting up with this?
Could you get away from him?
YOU will never be good enough.
YOU will never do enough.
HE will always move the goalposts.
That's what abusers do.
Please have a chat with Womens Aid.
They may be able to open your eyes to what is going on.
This is NOT normal and certainly NOT OK.
Do you have family or friends who you can go to for a while?
Please don't put up with abuse.
And certainly don't allow your DC to be brought up in an abusive household.
Ohhh... it WILL get worse once the baby is here and you give him even less attention!
You will be doing everything you do now and looking after a baby full time because he won't help.
HE has to work and it's YOUR job to look after the baby.
Get out now!!!

midnightmisssuki · 02/03/2018 13:27

Whats he like normally? Is he usually like this? Was the baby planned? Sorry OP - he sounds like a bully, and bullying anyone is not on, worse even - bullying a pregnant lady. He has arms and legs yes? Why cant he help buy food/tidy up etc? Has he any good points? Why do you feel its your fault hes unhappy? Are you always trying to make him happy - he needs to pull his weight and make you happy. I am inclined to think it will only get worse after baby is here. Good luck.

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