Ex wife drama

[Spindles83]

I've been dating a wonderful man with 3 children, he's been divorced for 2 years. Im not planning on meeting the children for at least a year. All is wonderful except 2 weeks ago his ex wife found out he's in a new relationship and she is using the kids to cause trouble and try to control his life. This is something she's done before apparently.

My bf said she is controlling and immature, she's 29 with 6 children to 3 different men if that matters. He said he will deal with it. I'm just worried that she'll act like this at every point in the relationship. She's trying to stop him seeing the kids and said she will move away as he's always with me. We see eachother 2 nights a weeks and 1 day every 2 weeks as I'm always busy. He said he's not seeing the kids any less and it's all in her head. This is true from what I've seen and he always puts his children first which I agree with. She living with her bf of 2 years and his baby.

Does anyone have experience of this. I'm very to the point and his approach is softer but I'm trying not to get involved. I'm just worried it will keep happening. I love him and don't want her to ruin this and it's effecting his wellbeing and his mum's, who recently lost her husband. I'm sure impact the children if she keeps on like this.

I'm grateful for any advice or personal experience.

‘We have been together for over a year. I'm not ready to have his children in my life just yet.‘

Yes it is

Ah she contradicts that in the OP

Fair enough

I know. I had some sympathy reading OP but that line changed my mind.

You only have control over you. You cant stop what she does, or how it makes DP feel (which affects you). If you have the emotional resources then you will just have to stick with it. If you are like me then this will drain you emotionally and make the relationship unviable long term. But some people are able to cope better than others. Im on the extreme end of needing to preserve my emotional labour to protect myself; you might be incredibly resilientan able to cope with the stress.
Its a guessing game as to how long it will carry on for. A year or two? Until the kids are adults? Who knows.

Also, yes, this may just be his side of the story. I am skeptical when people slag off exes, but enough people are arseholes that it may be true.

yet after a year she doesn’t want anything to do with his kids.

I think you've misinterpreted this. If she didn't ever want them in her life...She wouldn't be bothered about the situation eith his kids.

I do think some people default to fault finding and nit picking unnecessarily at times.

Rushing to meet the kids isn't good.

It's no secret enough women use children as weapons. Why woudnt that be the case here.

Or maybe people actually say what they mean....

You only know his version of events tbf. It’s sensible to keep out of it for that reason. Bear in mind she may be worried about another women being near her kids and is reacting because of this as she will assume it’s only a matter of time. Divorce is painful with kids it’s even worse. Then to have your kids around exh new partner is horrendous feeling