2 dates & then what?

[Tills85]

So I met a guy on a dating app. He's 35 I'm 32. He asked me out. Lovely date, we spent most afternoon and evening together. He asked if he could see me again. Same week we had dinner date again great date, got a bit steamy. He came to mine & stayed for few hours. When he was leaving he said see you soon. But we didn't arrange another date. So since he took me out twice and wouldn't let me pay I thought it would be nice to text him. I said i had a great evening thanked him for dinner & said i would like to take him out. I know some disagree but i don't think its fair specially in very early dating letting the guy do everything. Plus im very independent. Anyway i suggested a day. He messaged back. He thanked me for joining him for dinner, said he had a great time and that the idea of me taking him out next was great. However he is going away for few days and said that he doesnt want to agree a day incase he will still be recovering after his boozy trip. So my question is. Does he mean it? Do you think he will get back in touch or should i just forget about him? Is he just trying to let me down gently? He did mention few times during conversation things like "next time i see you" or when we next go out but is it just a figure of speach?

No way of telling, I guess all you can do is keep busy, go on other dates if you haven't had the exclusive chat yet and see what happens. I imagine he's expecting his boozy trip to include some women, hence not committing to anything before he goes.

OP - I am trying to phrase it diplomatically - because your post made me re-read and look at your age again.

No one has a crystal ball here, or anywhere. Just wait and see.
It’s not a massive time investment.

And/or date others in the meanwhile - and assume he is doing the same. Everybody is, unless you have some sort of conversation about it...

I mean obviously you haven't talked about being exclusive as such, but if you haven't agreed to hold off on organising other dates yet!

See im the kind of person that can't really date few people at the time. The boozy weekend is a lads weekend he really doesn't strike me as the type to go & sleep around so im not really bothered about that aspect I'm just really crap at reading people . I'm thinking he asked me on a date, then on that date he asked me on another. Bith dates were great. We're not teens but I just cannot tell

I find people disappear after a stint abroad for whatever reason, like they mentally hit a refresh button on leaving/returning.

He may well mean it but imo don't place your bets on it just carry on as you are and maybe scope for other dates or chat to other potentials.

To be honest, it would make more sense for him to suggest a different day, e.g. Wednesday if he's worried about being hangover on Monday or something. I think that either he's no longer interested or a bit weird. I'd probably wish him a lovely weekend and give it a week before deleting his number if you don't hear back.

Dating nowadays is so bloody complicated lol

I don’t think it’s complicated - if a guy wants to see you he makes it happen. Simple. So wait to see if he suggests something specific, and if not, bin it off. Words are cheap! Only actions count.

I will just say that love really is like a butterfly. If you chase it, well it just flutters away. Just sit quietly and keep cool,sometimes it will come and settle on your shoulder..

He did se me the day before he left, and he did say that doesn't want to 100% commit to the day i suggested because he might still be recovering...

he did say that doesn't want to 100% commit that might be your answer! Just be cool, as others have said, if he likes you he'll make it happen, if not then he wasn't for you. Annoying but such is life.

The boozy weekend is a lads weekend he really doesn't strike me as the type to go & sleep around so im not really bothered about that aspect

You’ve met the guy twice. You barely know anything about him so you cannot say that.

See what happens. Don’t hold your breath but stay positive, just don’t put all your eggs in the same basket

But I’m sorry, after meeting somebody just twice you absolutely cannot determine what he is/isn’t like

I would assume you wont see him again. Its weird he didnt just say "yes but it will have to be X days later in case I am still recovering". But its also possible you will hear from him- its not a black and white dodge from him. If you contacts you shortly after getting back then thats nice. If not? Ah well.
You may do better dating several people at once. It can stop you getting too invested in one person. If you have the time. Helps mentally as such a high % are a waste of time.

I had a similiar thing recently, started going on a few dates with a guy I knew was leaving the country for a month. I was convinced that I wouldn't hear from him again, but although I tried not to over-invest, I had done and wasn't prepared to go on other dates straight away. I am also not every good at dating multiple people at the same time but sometimes it is good. I managed to make plans with friends, beauty appointments etc. just to keep busy in that time.

I actually heard from him every day he was away and he sent flowers to my office on a couple of occassions. He is back now and we are still dating. He actually really proved himself in that time. If this guy wants to see you again, you will hear from him when he is back, in the meantime just relax. If he doesnt contact you when he is back then at least you know where you stand and can start dating again- it has only been a couple of dates so at least you wouldn't have lost too much!

Play it cool and unfortunately invest your time into someone else I think he's not really into you.

Well he's keeping in touch until now...